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  • justlikeheaven
    Member
    • Aug 2008
    • 37

    Yeah, you're absolutely right. Thanks for the advice!

    Comment

    • sourpuss
      Veteran Member
      • Dec 2006
      • 3581

      I was in a similar situation about a year ago. My boyfriend would always say things like, it's good while it's good and when it's not anymore then we'll go our separate ways, no hard feelings....etc. stuff like that. He was always really vague about being an item and all that. Then I left the country for a month and oh did things change when I got back.
      Now, I can sense when we're maybe spending too much time together or I'm babying him a bit too much. I know he really loves and appreciates me, he shows and tells me all the time, but every once in a while it does our relationship some good to not always be available.

      Comment

      • Inlove907
        Member
        • Aug 2010
        • 11

        Dear Justlikeheaven-
        It's great that you have someone who makes you feel the way he does. I just feel like the relationship as you described it is a bit unhealthy. It's important that you spend time apart from each other and have your own interests in life. It's not healthy to feel like you "need" someone either. My advice to you would be to spend a little time getting to know yourself and making YOURSELF happy. Shy away from the constant texting so that you can focus on yourself, friends, and family also. After this your man might realize how much you wants you to be in his life. I agree with "sourpuss" that it may not be so important to have the label if you two are happy. On the other hand, from my experience, men who have told me that were just not ready for the commitment of a monogamous relationship. You know your man better than anyone on here, but please honey don't stay with him if you're only doing it because he makes you feel good. Make sure you're happy with who he is and always remember that you don't need a man to be happy.

        <3

        Comment

        • sourpuss
          Veteran Member
          • Dec 2006
          • 3581

          Agreed!!

          Comment

          • justlikeheaven
            Member
            • Aug 2008
            • 37

            Originally posted by Inlove907
            You know your man better than anyone on here, but please honey don't stay with him if you're only doing it because he makes you feel good. Make sure you're happy with who he is and always remember that you don't need a man to be happy.
            Oh of course i know that! Am i am happy with who he is. There isn't a thing about his person that really bothers me. I have always looked for flaws in someone i was interested in and i have not found any with him.

            Comment

            • CHANDLERS WISH
              • Mar 2008
              • 22440

              Sweet, you say you spend your days with your friend and then he turns up later of an evening.

              Where are you two when that happens? I imagine you live at home?

              Also, you say basically the other times you spend together is within a group of friends, not alone.. Have you ever gone out on a date?

              Does he buy you little things or would he spend his last $5 on you?

              CW
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

              Comment

              • justlikeheaven
                Member
                • Aug 2008
                • 37

                Originally posted by CHANDLERS WISH
                Sweet, you say you spend your days with your friend and then he turns up later of an evening.

                Where are you two when that happens? I imagine you live at home?

                Also, you say basically the other times you spend together is within a group of friends, not alone.. Have you ever gone out on a date?

                Does he buy you little things or would he spend his last $5 on you?

                CW

                we spend alone time together mostly during the weekend, and sometimes, throughout the week. (all at night time)
                he does buy me little things here and there and he used to pay for my gas when i didn't have any gas money. (without me asking)
                but i'm not too sure if he'd spend his last $5 on me. i'm just that kind of person that would do that, i don't know anyone else who would to be honest

                Comment

                • CHANDLERS WISH
                  • Mar 2008
                  • 22440

                  Well, he sees you with friends, yet he texts you. He sees you mostly on weekends and sometimes through the week, he buys you little things, and helps you out when your in need..

                  A guy that doesn't like you, won't do that, he'll see you when he wants, not all the time....

                  Maybe he just needs a bit of time...

                  I like what was stated above about, doing somethings for yourself, so your "not" available sometimes as well... Let him see what he is missing... Often that draws someone even closer when they see your independent plus you need to be a little, or you'll live and breathe this person instead of having your own identity.

                  CW
                  PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

                  Comment

                  • justlikeheaven
                    Member
                    • Aug 2008
                    • 37

                    I do know that we need to spend time apart, but i think that because we've become so used to having this daily routine, it'll be hard for both of us. But it is very true that he'll see what he's missing because i went away for the weekend last month and didn't text him once. By the second day of not talking to him, he started to text me and ask me how i was doing and seeing if i was hooking up with other people. Of course i wasn't, but hehe he was jealous :P

                    Comment

                    • jns
                      Assistant Admin
                      • Mar 2010
                      • 8398

                      Jealousy may be fun sometimes, but if he gets scared, his reaction may be unpredictable. I wonder if you are in love with him, or just love him. When you didn't talk with him did you feel like your heart was being ripped out?
                      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                      ...
                      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                      Comment

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