[sourpuss]

Do you have a job? Just curious how someone could talk on the phone that much if they are at work for 8 hours of the day.

[Tiptopshape]

Maybe you're being too emotional because you have practically made him the center of your everyday activity. He's probably busy with something that really needs to be done. Just learn to trust him more, long distance relationships are really tough as it is and trusting him is one great thing that you can really do for your relationship to last.
Do something else productive so that you'll have other things in mind to think about and not just waiting for him every time. It's unhealthy for you to be always crying and be emotional over something which is not really worth crying about. I'm sure he loves you too!

[jns]

Do something else productive so that you'll have other things in mind to think about and not just waiting for him every time.

Using the energy from being in love long distance can be very productive. Focusing can be hard, but to keep focused a tremendous concentration is needed. Put it to good use making something or improving yourself.

[chelle21689]

When I say we talk several times a day it'll be around like 3pm (my time zone), then 7pm, then at night its kind of random whoever isn't busy. Usually it'll be like less than 5 minutes but when its later at night it's an hour or so on Skype.

The thing is, I KNOW all of those reasons that could happen. He's in the shower, bathroom, etc. etc. but I still freak out if it's been several hours. I think it's getting worse though even though for a while I managed it well. The times I called and he didn't pick up was because he was in the water at the beach, at the movies, he forgot it, doesn't take it with him while he works out, etc.

I KNOW all of this, I just don't know why I freak out and I want to know how I can stop but it seems impossible.

Funny because when he was in training in the Army (he's in the Reserves..back home now) I was sooooo independent. I knew when I called him and he didn't answer he had a good reason...I guess in my mind Army stuff is important and well when you're back in "civilian" life that nothing going on is important.


I admit that I dont' have a lot of friends. Right now my life is boring but I'm going back to college and finishing my degree within 2 years...starting next month . I'm hoping as a full time student I'd be busy. A couple times a week I go out at night, but I can't help but think about him...it does help though when I'm out. Makes me not wait by the phone.


I don't want to admit to you guys but I cried today. I called and no answer...I tried to go out and cook and do whatever but an hour passes and he still hasn't called. I noticed his friend he was hanging with was on Facebook so I messaged her to tell him to call me and he did. His phone was in his bag...I'm just wondering how the long it would've taken him to call me back if it wasn't for his friend to tell him.

[sourpuss]

...I guess in my mind Army stuff is important and well when you're back in "civilian" life that nothing going on is important.

Well, that's just not true. Maybe that's your problem, you need to find things in your daily life that are important. Working out is important, being at the movies or the beach is important and certainly more important in the grand scheme of things than a 5 minute phone call considering you've already talked more than once earlier in the day.
Sorry to sound so harsh, I'm really not trying to be mean. I'm just trying to get my point across that you need to have important things in your life on a daily basis and so does he. You both need separate lives that are fulfilling, no relationship can withstand one (or both) parties happiness being dependent on the attention they get from the other.

[chelle21689]

Whoops, I posted before I was done.
Continuing...
If he knows that you cry, he should love your tears, because they tell him that you are very much in love with him. They reassure him that you have no second thoughts about that. Do you also cry when you are with him and think about the two of you being apart? Do you let him kiss or wipe the tears from your eyes as he hugs you?

Good luck.

WoW...LOL um....yea I actually do tear up and get sad when we're together because I think about when we're gonna be apart. This will happen when I know my visit is ending.

[RosePetal]

I understand how you feel and its all in your mind. when he was in the army and you called and he didnt pick up - you were fine as he was out there and you knew he couldnt pick up. but when hes at home or doing his daily thing you do expect him to pick up and obviously think the worse when he doesnt.

You do seem to depend on him a lot - dont worry im the same with my partner we speak throughout work, and after work and speak on the phone properly at night - and no we never run out of things to say but that is because we never see each other hardly.

it does come down to trust - i know you need peace of mind when he picks up and says goodnight to you but you must trust he will always get back to you and try to be less dependant/insecure and ull be fine

[chelle21689]

It's extremely hard and a long bad habit to break. -_-

[chelle21689]

I want to see a therapist but I can't afford it and I don't know who is good to go to.

[BabyGirl]

Do a search on the net for some womens support groups in your area. There are usually some at your local Health Department, Churches or WMCA.

Also if in the YSA, theres a 411 number thru a crisis line, Just explain you need some free or low income counseling, they can give you some resources. Good Luck