[Saralaise]

... then perhaps re-think your statement before you say ANYTHING.

I recently got called into work regarding an issue. I had to meet with my boss to discuss some things. My boss can be an intimidating woman, however I have never had a problem with her, so I was fine going in.

She said there were some ``remarks`` about me, and my work ethic. Surprised by this, I did not know what to say. I just listened and in my head, prepared my responses. She picked up steam, and started escalating things, and becoming more frustrated. Then, in the middle of her almost shouting at me, she stopped and said `Now, some people who came to me DID feel bad for saying something.`

At that point, I wanted to say Òh yeah? They feel bad? Well you can tell them that their straightforwardness is really ing appreciated, and that their sympathy for me is doing jack .`

I mean. First she was all angry and shouting at me, and then she was calm and trying to make me feel better.

I am not made of glass; I AM capable of handling being told off, I dont require you to butter me up, and make me feel better.

I just needed to rant a bit. But my point is, if you are going to have a conversation with something that requires a certain air, then maintain that. Dont be jumping around with the emotions of the discussion, because to some people, ME INCLUDED, it is ing irritating and makes it seem like you struggle more with this than the person you are reprimanding.

Also, I am pretty ****ed off that these people could not have come to me and said `hey, I think you are a little lacking in this area...`instead, they ran directly to the boss and the whole thing was blown up unnecessarily.

Grow a ing backbone, really.

[geedee]

When in doubt, take the high road! And coming here and venting is the perfect way to let it out without letting your dignity go. Chin up sweetie

[Saralaise]

The thing is, I may lose my job now because instead of them coming straight to me to discuss any concerns they had, they complained straight to the boss and now things are blown out of proportion. I was given no chance to defend myself.

[jns]

If there is no problem with your work, you should go on the attack at some point and complain that these unnamed people are trying to ruin your reputation. Is it possible that your boss didn't want to complain about things directly, so therefore made up unnamed people?

It is always best to have a lot of friends at work. They will come directly to you if there is something they don't like and they can tell you of what is going on behind your back. They can protect you at times, also. Take the effort to build friendships.

If you want or need to play dirty, get some dirt on everybody and hold your fire until the right time.

[rcoreyus]

Just remember that your "boss" is also human. Most people are never trained on how to manage people - and a lot of what training is out there is useless. Dealing with complaints about an employee is really difficult - you don't know who to believe, don't know the right tone to set: maybe this is an isolated problem with an otherwise good employee.

So, to understand why your boss acted this way, imagine youself in their position and think about how you would handle this - it might give yo some insight.

A while ago I was put in charge of a bunch of people at my job - and I'm really bad at it. I try, but its much more difficult than it looks.

[4all2c]

Remember one important thing...in the work place there ARE NO FREINDS. It is a war zone. people have families to feeed, economics to battle, a job that must be kept secure at all costs. and if you open the door just a lttle, even to someone who is spilling there guts about how much they hate this supervisor or that manager or how they got laid last night, you offer up one songle dertail and your the target, they'll shoot you down chew you up spit up the gory little pieces and then when you explain to them thinking they were on your side they do OMG thats so terrible how could anyone say that about you. Then, off they go back the bosss to pick up another round of free brownie points. But dont take it personal. War is war and your not just ready for it yet. Be good. Do your job. Keep your personal life out of the war zone. And keep your comments about the boss to yourself. After about a month of this. Go see your boss and just say to her. I have something really nagging me that I would like to discuss with you, do have a moment. Tell her whats been bothering you without dragging in other people. she'll respect you for it. May even consider where the came from, and you should be okay. Cheers sweet

[Ashlee T.]

Frustrating. If it were me, I'd cool off and then request a meeting with my boss to further discuss this. Express your concern about what it is these people believe you're lacking in. Do not express your concern over who talked bad about you, or why they would have. Turn it around into an "I'm a thoughtful dependable employee who is generally concerned with doing an excellent job.". Tell her the conversation really bothered you and that you wanted to discuss it so you could do whatever you need to do to make sure it doesn't happen again.