[Hopeless Dork]

I think you just need to take this as a life lesson and move on. The way you treat people, even if you are deep down just trying to protect yourself has an effect. If you act like you don't care... someone might just believe you. Its a balancing act for certain, especially for men.. if you come with your heart on your sleeve a lot of girls will break it, if you keep your heart locked in a vault... a lot of girls will give up after a few failed attempts to get the combination.

When you are with someone its okay to be gaurded at first... but as you get to know them and trust them you have to start pulling those walls down one by one, even if you fear you'll get hurt... you can't truly love someone without that risk.

Its probably a case of too little too late, I'm afraid.. and at this age and the shorter length of your history together... there just wasn't enough glue to hold it together long distance.

Mark it as experience, of living, enjoying life with her... and now its time for a new chapter.

[ManINeedACoffee]

I agree - this is a good opportunity to learn something about yourself and relationships. I had a relationship with an "alpha" myself who did very similar things. In the end, I should've been the one to end it, but he beat me to the punch.

Using the "alpha" game to avoid your own insecurities will not make for happy relationships - it's more important to pinpoint what those insecurities are, what the root of the problem is, and learn from them. The truth is, being "alpha" does not make you strong, nor does it really make you a man. I learned in my own experience that acting like you have...ya know...huevos, and actually showing that you really do have huevos are two completely different things. You're young - you have plenty of time to figure yourself out, my friend.

Everybody takes awhile to let their guard down in relationships (and those that let it all down right away kind of scare me). It's how we get to know anyone, really - a little bit at a time. The challenge is seeing each new person as just that: a completely new person, and not allowing painful past experiences to get in the way of getting to know them properly or letting them get to know you. When you insist on remaining guarded, you are also insisting on remaining disconnected. People can't tolerate such a feeling of disconnectedness in a relationship for too long - as human beings, we crave contact and support from the people we love. If we're not getting it, then we're in an unhealthy situation - why stay there when you're not getting the things you need?

Why do you want her back, may I ask? I know you've said that she liked you more than you liked her - so why has she become so important now?

You can ask for forgiveness, tell her you will change, but honestly, I don't think that will help you. If you want someone to know you're growing and changing, you have to show them, not tell them. Words lie - actions don't.

Take care of yourself, focus on you and what you need to do to break whatever patterns you think you need to change. I wouldn't suggest contacting her just now - people usually need some time to reflect, get some distance from the situation, and gain some more perspective before they figure out exactly what they need to do.