Right or Wrong.. Should I tell her now the truth ? Have her aware so she can be prepared for her future.
After over 3 months of my affair with " John" ending, I have learned a few things from others that know him, several friends of his son, ones that come into my store and have been to "Johns" home many times, grew up with his son "J.J"..
I have found out that his son saw an email from me right after/during our breakup, when John ran to the store and left the comp on. Not the one to "John" as pretending that we only had a few kisses, but the one about our year long deeply involved affair. His Son " J.J " confronted his Dad and was told to shut up, he never saw that email ever and was threatened physically.
It seems "John" only admitted to one or two kisses to his wife and that was a thank you kisses, for mehelping him with his truck.
To add to this, "John" and wife were in process of moving to another State with is son " J.J." who was so excited about moving and having some land instead of City life was excited about helping his dad with the property and renovating the old house on the property.
How I know all of this is Cameron, "J.J. s" best buddy told me most of this. Cam knowing that I was trying to help "J.J." get a job with my Company back when "John "& I were together. Cam and I talked a bit and I admitted I had had an affair with " John" and apologized to Cam for acting like I barely knew " John " when they would all come into my store.
That is when Cam told me about "J.J." reading the email from June so he already knew I had an affair with "John". He also told me I was not the first lady that "John" has hadan affair with, he said "John" usually had 2 or 3 , when married to " J.J.s" Mom. ( which was only 5 years ago )
Cam said I was lucky I didn't hook up with "John" ashe can be very violent and went on to describe some very disturbing incidences' of "John" & "J.J." that occurred within the past year, as well as the years proceeding. Violent & physical altercations.
Which brought to my attention some of the talks I had had with "John" and some of the texts
I still have. He did show a tendency of irritation when he spoke of his son or his wife whenhe wasn't happy with things they did or didn't do.
Though never anything but kind and loving to me, verbally and physically, I do recall a few times he said he was so tired of her " effin drunk ***" but he can't leave ( mind you not for me ) even if he wanted toas he has over $40 grand invested in her and has a commitment to her". Which I'm not sure exactly what that means. ? The House or the DUI she had or whatever ?
The problem is that when he said these things,I recall that they were said with sternness in his voice and that was something very unusual. The rare times I heard irritation in his voice were small things ( to me) .. his son's car, his wife drinking or not washing the lime before putting it in his Corona ,washing the meat and veggies well before cooking. Things I knew he expected after coming home from a hard days work.
Now to mention on hindsight, it was near the 2 times she went to E.R. fromfalling or tripping. I don't recall if he said this before or after her Hospitalvisits..
Anyway, what I was told was that "J.J." told his father that If his car couldn't go to the new place, he could always clarify the " One kiss " with me, to his step mom, as he read the email...
Within a week of that, is when " John" literally has moved almost everything to the new state. The home here being for sale is off limits to "J.J" as it's going to be shown. His father will be back when the home sells for the rest of the things in the home and travel trailer and other cars.
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The main reason I am writing all of this, is that now I am concerned about his wife's safety. As I was told she almost divorced him over the" couple of kisses" but she forgave him and they moved to a remote area of the new State. I'm sure she knows of his temper as they have been married 3 years this month.
My Delima is , do I let her know the truth ofa year long very sexual relationship, even though we never completed actual full blown intercourse ? Would she leave him and maybe protect herself from possible harm ? Or would it endanger her if she confronted him with the knowledge of the truth ?
Do I let her believe his transgression was a few “Thank You “kisses and nothing more. Butt out, put it in the past as I'm the lucky one to have found out his temperament ?
I am much wiser now, thanks to the time it takes to heal from a heartache...Thanks to the people here at W.H. .. all that let me ask advise, opened their hearts and experiences and helped “ wake me up”..
I am now back here asking all of the “ Sisters & Brothers” .. What would you do ? I know that what comes around goes around and accept that I was wrong to even continue an affair once I knew he was Married,regardless of his proposed happiness / unhappiness.
I live with the negative of this everyday and so desire a positive outcome. I have been rescued by hindsight but can I help another woman also be rescued by knowledge ?
After over 3 months of my affair with " John" ending, I have learned a few things from others that know him, several friends of his son, ones that come into my store and have been to "Johns" home many times, grew up with his son "J.J"..
I have found out that his son saw an email from me right after/during our breakup, when John ran to the store and left the comp on. Not the one to "John" as pretending that we only had a few kisses, but the one about our year long deeply involved affair. His Son " J.J " confronted his Dad and was told to shut up, he never saw that email ever and was threatened physically.
It seems "John" only admitted to one or two kisses to his wife and that was a thank you kisses, for mehelping him with his truck.
To add to this, "John" and wife were in process of moving to another State with is son " J.J." who was so excited about moving and having some land instead of City life was excited about helping his dad with the property and renovating the old house on the property.
How I know all of this is Cameron, "J.J. s" best buddy told me most of this. Cam knowing that I was trying to help "J.J." get a job with my Company back when "John "& I were together. Cam and I talked a bit and I admitted I had had an affair with " John" and apologized to Cam for acting like I barely knew " John " when they would all come into my store.
That is when Cam told me about "J.J." reading the email from June so he already knew I had an affair with "John". He also told me I was not the first lady that "John" has hadan affair with, he said "John" usually had 2 or 3 , when married to " J.J.s" Mom. ( which was only 5 years ago )
Cam said I was lucky I didn't hook up with "John" ashe can be very violent and went on to describe some very disturbing incidences' of "John" & "J.J." that occurred within the past year, as well as the years proceeding. Violent & physical altercations.
Which brought to my attention some of the talks I had had with "John" and some of the texts
I still have. He did show a tendency of irritation when he spoke of his son or his wife whenhe wasn't happy with things they did or didn't do.
Though never anything but kind and loving to me, verbally and physically, I do recall a few times he said he was so tired of her " effin drunk ***" but he can't leave ( mind you not for me ) even if he wanted toas he has over $40 grand invested in her and has a commitment to her". Which I'm not sure exactly what that means. ? The House or the DUI she had or whatever ?
The problem is that when he said these things,I recall that they were said with sternness in his voice and that was something very unusual. The rare times I heard irritation in his voice were small things ( to me) .. his son's car, his wife drinking or not washing the lime before putting it in his Corona ,washing the meat and veggies well before cooking. Things I knew he expected after coming home from a hard days work.
Now to mention on hindsight, it was near the 2 times she went to E.R. fromfalling or tripping. I don't recall if he said this before or after her Hospitalvisits..
Anyway, what I was told was that "J.J." told his father that If his car couldn't go to the new place, he could always clarify the " One kiss " with me, to his step mom, as he read the email...
Within a week of that, is when " John" literally has moved almost everything to the new state. The home here being for sale is off limits to "J.J" as it's going to be shown. His father will be back when the home sells for the rest of the things in the home and travel trailer and other cars.
************************************************** >
The main reason I am writing all of this, is that now I am concerned about his wife's safety. As I was told she almost divorced him over the" couple of kisses" but she forgave him and they moved to a remote area of the new State. I'm sure she knows of his temper as they have been married 3 years this month.
My Delima is , do I let her know the truth ofa year long very sexual relationship, even though we never completed actual full blown intercourse ? Would she leave him and maybe protect herself from possible harm ? Or would it endanger her if she confronted him with the knowledge of the truth ?
Do I let her believe his transgression was a few “Thank You “kisses and nothing more. Butt out, put it in the past as I'm the lucky one to have found out his temperament ?
I am much wiser now, thanks to the time it takes to heal from a heartache...Thanks to the people here at W.H. .. all that let me ask advise, opened their hearts and experiences and helped “ wake me up”..
I am now back here asking all of the “ Sisters & Brothers” .. What would you do ? I know that what comes around goes around and accept that I was wrong to even continue an affair once I knew he was Married,regardless of his proposed happiness / unhappiness.
I live with the negative of this everyday and so desire a positive outcome. I have been rescued by hindsight but can I help another woman also be rescued by knowledge ?
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