[Amelia16]

Me and my boyfriend as of monday have been going out for 3 months now I just deccided to be in a relationship again after about 2 yrs because i was looking for someone serious and i have found him but theres only one thing that kinda bothers me and idk if its just me or i should be worried. The thing is he is a freshman in college but he not really a hardcore partier or drinker/smoker but the other day he wanted to go to a party and i didnt want him to go because other girls might want to talk to him and all the other stuff that goes along with that he is a trustworthy man its just ive been cheated on before and it hurts but he didnt go to the party because i was pretty upset hes a great guy he would do anything for me but do you think i was wrong for not wanting him to go and all his friends are single so they can do w.e and im an 1 hour away from him so its not like i can go there anyday, but was i wrong an i just being to hard on him??????

[sourpuss]

In my opinion, yes. Not wanting him to have a fun night with his friends because he'd be in a situation that a girl might talk to him is way over the top and borderline controlling.

[Amelia16]

yeah thats true but i didnt mean just general talking i mean in a way as in talking like trying to hook-up?

[sourpuss]

If you trust him, then it shouldn't matter who talks to him or what they want. He's with you, but if you act jealous and freak whenever he's going to hang with his buddies, eventually it will drive him away.

[Ashlee T.]

If you get into the mindset that you can actually control whether or not another female tries to hook up with him, you're definitely in for some trouble and a very unhappy relationship. First, none of it's in your control: whether a girl tries to hook up with him, whether he accepts her offer, etc. If you think he's going to exist in college for the next 4-5 years and not at some point be propositioned by a female, you're crazy girl.

If he wanted to go to the party, he should've gone. Had it been me, I'd have not only gone to the party, but would've probably ended our relationship for your lack of trust. I refuse to be in a relationship with someone who tries to control me and doesn't trust me. What's the point?

So yeah....you made too much of it. He didn't go...you got your way....but I think you owe him an apology. And next time he wants to go to a party, he should go. If he cheats on you just because some girl hits on him.....then is he really the love of your life? I think not.

[sourpuss]

I don't know about anyone else but when I'm in the position where I'm completely faithful and trustworthy and someone doesn't trust me, I think 'heck may as well, they already think I'm doing it, what's the point of being honest?'
BD is right, you owe him an apology. It was nice of him to not go because you were upset, but it wasn't justified on your part. Hopefully he didn't vent to his friends because once they decide they don't like you it's going to be hard to win them back and that will just put him in a position he won't want to be in.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

To avoid re-accurance from the past, you control the present..

That makes you "controlling" and as such, no healthy relationship can be gleemed...

Past is past, present is present and if you don't allow him to be free, himself, and make his own decisions, due to your past, then he will walk...

Imagine, your friends want you to go to a birthday party with them and your excited, can't wait and the man in your life says, I don't want you to go, some guy may chat you up... and each time something else comes up, same thing. All of a sudden, you have no friends as they stop asking you, all of a sudden your stuck on your own and you start to resent him, and so, you leave him...eventually..

Leave your past in your past..

If this guy ever cheats on you as someone else did? Then know that he wasn't for you, simple... You deserve better and won't settle for that.

You can't stop anything in life... And, as the others have stated, you have to have trust in a relationship or it won't work, you'll be putting him in the scenario I just wrote in reverse.

CW

[Amelia16]

Thank you guys for the advice I owe my bf a huge apology n I will not let my past get the best of me cuz really I love him a lot n he loves me so I need to really show him that I do trust him cuz I know he won't hurt me but like I said I let the past get to me but again thankx