[Agony_Aunt]

Well my love, here's the thing...

If it has stemmed from what occured a month ago... Do you want to save it?

If this is his reason for leaving, "fear" do you want to counter it?

If you weren't worried before, and you were happy in this relationship, really happy, don't want anyone else, do you want to tell him that?

If you say no to any of the above, then maybe the journey of that relationship is over and a new one is around the corner.

If you feel that you know your going to cry and haven't then yes, more than likely, it's "you haven't yet given up" .. so consider the above...

Yes CW, I do want to save it, same as I did a month ago when we had that row.
I had always told him I loved him for who he is, and that his age was part of him and I loved it too. I always told him how I felt and that his age never made a difference to how I felt about him.
The fear part.. Thats a tough one to think about. Does he become confident in our relationship that I won't leave him and I do love him. Or will it be that everyday that passes he will still always be waiting for "that" day that I do leave him??

If he was always going to live in that fear, I'm not sure if I could live with that in the relationship. But I think now, his choice for ending the relationship is because he may always fear that.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I guess, if he isn't a "risk taker" there is a problem..

I recall issues about work as well Your a risk taker....He's not..

There's something maybe to work with?

CW

[Agony_Aunt]

CW, thats a very good point made that I didn't see.

I am/was willing to take a risk with this relationship, whether or not it would have worked out. I wanted to be able to say "I still tried".
I was always willing to give it a go against all the facts my family had pointed out about why it wouldn't work, and push past any negative feelings about it, simply because I really loved him enough to do that for him. And I never wanted to be wondering "what if".

His choice that he has made now, shows that he is not able or willing to do that for me.

I accept now that the relationship is over, it has been the hardest relationship I've been in regarding the circumstances and so on, but I've enjoyed it and I'm greatful that I met him and spent the time I did with him. I'm taking away good memories and experiences from it.

I still haven't told my family yet that it's over because I don't really wanna hear the "I told you so" right now.

For now I'm going to try and get over it and not think too much about it either. I hate feeling heart broken, so I'm going to try and think positively about the relationship and agree with myself that, it ending is the right thing and I will see that soon.

Thank You CW for your support and advice x

[CHANDLERS WISH]

My sexy dark haired friend

Don't parents suck? They live in the olden days and still come up with these silly sayings " I told you so"... I know you think like me, in as much as why things happen, lessons learnt , memories kept, reasons for people coming into your life, and as you stated, "you have good memories and experiences from it" so when they make that comment, that's your answer, a simple "actually no, life is about experiences and what you take from them, it's all good and it was a good decision to have had him in my life" smile and walk away.. Perhaps we can teach our parents something

My ex was a non-risk taker, and I think I've spoken about this to you before, whereby he shot me down for attempting to become a Real Estate Agent as it was commission at that time, then when I started the Franchise

I think we have to look at personalities as well, core values and morals when venturing into a relationship, that's something I have learnt... So, I like you am a risk taker and I think your logic is fantastic. Everything in life is like this if you are a risk taker, "I didn't fail, I tried" failure is if you never try....

Take the memories, experiences and maybe a small lesson to find a person who accepts risks, or takes them as well, (just not a gambler) haha.. that's different huh.

I know your hearting and I'll shut up now, after all I'm reminding you but remember, everything negative has a positive, everything....

[Agony_Aunt]

CW, it's on days like today that I feel like your my gaurdian angel

I was so nervous about putting up the pic, but i took the risk and put it up.

The fact that I know I tried with this relationship, is comforting. I will never end up sitting asking myself "What if I'd done this" "what if I'd done that". It feels good to know that, "I did that" and " I did this". And sadly it didn't work out. But atleast I tried, and I'm happy with that. And I also believe, in his own way he was protecting my heart as well as his own.

I believe that, the only mistakes made in life are the ones you don't learn from.

I think I'll just stick to a gambler in love, like myself
Someone who is willing to take the risks and learn from the consequences, good or bad.
But it will be a while before I look for anyone new.

For now though, I'm going to enjoy the mistake I never made. (being with him).

"Don't Cry Because It's Over....Smile Because It Happened"

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well that's all I have to say, plus I can only put 4 up after all, or it tells me off...:P

Plus I'm kind of proud of you.

[Agony_Aunt]

We'll have to sort that out, we need to be able to smile more than 4 times

Proud in what way? I kinda feel proud to because of the way I'm handling this all. I thought it would be a lot harder.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Let me say, everybody is human, everybody makes mistakes, no one is perfect, and to remind you, that it's ok to make them therefore, it's human and again, lesson learnt

Previous post deleted, non helpful at all...

Yes mam, that is why I am proud of you

[Agony_Aunt]

Yep, that post didn't help at all.

You were right in one of your previous posts that I hadn't given up yet, but sometimes it is right to let go.

And on the other thread, you said. The truth doesn't always hurt.

He told me the truth about how he feels, and I'm sure it hurts less now than it would later down the line if he didn't tell me.

As for the deleted poster saying, there is a chance of him coming back. I don't want him back. I couldn't put him through being in a relationship and being in constant fear of loosing the other person. That just wouldn't be fair.

Now I gotta hold my head up high, smile and move on.

[caterpillar79]

Keep it up, Aunt.