[whit4488]

i feel the same way. i have an absolutely amazing man in my life who i would never trade for anyone else. thats why everyone who comes on here with problems with there significant other i always say the same thing...because i was once in a horrible relationship and i found this amazing man when i never thought i could ever find someone to make me love unconditionally with my entire body, heart and soul. he is my knight in shining armor and i look forward to growing old with this loving man. to all the woman who have lieing, cheating, unfaithful husbands or boyfriends...you dont deserve it, your KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR is out there. dont be afraid of being alone or starting all over or afraid to trust again, because you can

[Little_Miss_Me]

How is living with a boyfriend? Is it easy? Does it do more or less for the relationship?

Honestly? I wouldn't get married to someone without living with them for at least a year.

I ended up staying with the ex I was referring to for about two and a half years. You nit-pick more than you'd ever dream. I'm a tom-boy. Really easy going. I rarely let anything bother me, and for the most part, I'm one of the most optimistic people you'll ever meet. But... within months it was like, "You said you were going to do your chores three days ago, and you're going to be working five days in a row. Why don't you just get it done today?" There was always the "sterotype" that I was the woman, I should clean. While he never really said it, it was kinda understood. It was like, um. In that case, you work enough hours for me to be a stay at home woman, and sure, I'll do it. But until I can stop working five hours of overtime, you're going to have to help me out.

Then there are other things that aren't work/financial related. Like, dependency. I'm a really independent person, so having someone dependent on me just feels... odd? I never would've guessed the macho man I moved in with was one of the whiniest guys I've ever met. By all means, when the poor pudding person had a headache, he couldn't swallow pills, so I "had" to crush up chewables in a small glass of orange juice for him.

Little things like that you don't expect to get under your skin, but they do. I mean, , it's been almost a year since I've seen him. And the friendship we created by living together is an unbreakable bond. If he -ever- needed anything, ever, I would be the first person there for him.

So I could imagine with the right person, it'd be the most amazing experience ever. However, with the wrong person, I would think it'll be more obvious and kill whatever passion the two of you have.

Anywho, you'll never know til you try it yourself. Get out there and give it a shot, hun. Good luck, and I wish you the best of luck!

[Calicorado83]

Little Miss Me
Thanks! I really appreciate your reply. Already he stays at my house every night, and he'll leave his cups out and socks on the floor, and I'll give it to him that he doesn't really have a place to put his clothes, but I can see how cleaning up after him could get on my nerves, although, at the same time it feels good to see those socks on the floor and know it's because I have someone else in my life to care about instead of just me, by myself, living by myself like it's been for the past two or so years.

And Whit, AGREED.

I have come to realize that some of the greatest people in your life aren't always going to come from perfect backgrounds. WildChild, I appreciate your reply, but it kind of bothered me just a bit for him to be called a prisoner. I realize that the cover of the book doesn't sound very appealing, but he is one of the best persons I have ever met. Other boyfriends I have had who didn't happen to be in work-release centers were the poorest excuses for boyfriends I had ever met. Not this one. This one is absolutely amazing, and please trust me when I say that I did hesitate to be with him for the fact that he was stuck at the center and I didn't really want to commit to a man who is at a center, but now, I am glad I did and he has definitely surprised me with the way he has turned out. But your advice about the infatuation part and him getting back on his feet, I did take that to heart

[oxy-moron]

Wise words from WildChild. Also during early love you are wearing rose tinted spectacles- you overlook any flaws or downplay them. What do your friends think of him?

[Calicorado83]

My friends like him. And so does my family.

[OregonGirl]

Living with your boyfriend for the first time is FUN and EXCITING!!

But living with someone is also when all those little ugly things about each other you weren't aware of start rearing their little heads.

It's great that you're so in love! The real test comes when you see if you can put up being with each other on a daily basis! Trust me when I say that things WILL show up that you'll absolutely despise about each other. It's perfectly normal! It happens to everyone who takes that big leap into shared housing.

Also, I'll give you the single best tip anyone ever gave me just before I moved in with my boyfriend...

NEVER EVER EVER Go to bed mad at each other. It sucks, being tired sucks, but you feel so much better when everything is over and you can cuddle and kiss and fall asleep happy together.

[Calicorado83]

BF deleted messages from inbox

Okay, so I'm in an extremely healthy relationship with a guy that I love to death.
He hasn't cheated on me, never have suspected it. Nothing of the sort.

One night he asked me to put my phone on the charger. So while he was in the other room, I looked at his messages. It wasn't out of a lack of trust or anything, I was just curious. We tell each other all the time there is never going to be a reason for either one of us to hide our phones from each other, he can go through mine, I can go through his. But his inbox had been recently deleted.

Now, I understand that he needs to delete his inbox periodically to make room for more messages, but I still didn't like seeing that it was deleted, especially right before he asked me to handle his phone. I think this weird feeling stems from other relationships I've been in, like my most recent ex never let me handle his phone ever which left me wondering, why?

Am I just being paranoid? lol

[Hopeless Dork]

No, I don't think you are being paranoid... he probably deleted his messages so that you wouldnt see them... a clean sweep right before handing over a phone would make me feel that way too. BUT that doesn't mean it was because he's cheating or anything else that you would dissaprove of. He might have just been embarrased by something he said or someone else said, etc.. Maybe he and a friend were talking about you (nothing bad) or maybe his mom sent him a message about loaning him money , etc... I just mean it could be that it wasn't 'other woman' related... maybe spam from porn sites or something else he would think would make him look bad to you. I think we instantly assume its over cheating that people hide their communications, but its not always the case.

I am not cheating on my boyfriend but I wouldn't want him reading my text messages or emails... because I say stupid things all the time. Plus sometimes I go through things that I'm not necessarily wanting to trouble him with. His actions and the way he treats you will tell your stomach whether or not something is wrong. If you feel completely at ease, nothing seems off... I wouldn't worry about the clean sweep delete.

If he's answering his phone around you (not rudely, just occasionally) if its not constantly going off while he hides it in his pocket... if he's not going outside for calls or putting his phone away everytime you come around the corner... you know that suspicious behavior shady ppl have with their phones... if he's not acting like that I wouldn't sweat it at all.

I think most women know when something is off, we are very intuitive creatures.. if your gut is telling you all is well -- i wouldn't let the lack of messages change that at all.

[Calicorado83]

Thank you so much for your reply, it highlighted some very interesting, possible points as to why he deleted his inbox. I don't know why I was so quick to jump to stupid conclusions like that, I think maybe because it's not that I doubt him; he doesn't act shady, he is very into me all the time. I think it might be a personal issue with myself. I feel quite often very insecure about myself. I actually was going to post this issue in another thread here soon, because it's not becoming so much a problem, but it's taking a toll on me and I feel like it has potential to become a smoking issue. Again, I wanted to give my appreciation for your reply. I have to say, I have done a clean sweep on my inbox before just because it was easier than picking out the specific texts I didn't want him to see or possibly overlooking one in the process of doing so to have him find it.

[Calicorado83]

Private issues w/ girls of my BF's past

Here recently, I have found myself feeling very insecure about the thought of my boyfriend still being in touch with women from his past. Ex-girlfriends, girls who he's dated, or potentially liked (or liked him) and even his son's mother.

For instance, there is this girl, I'll call her Cassie, who still texts him from time to time. He says that they never were together. They talked to each other over the phone, but because they lived in other states and he refused to move to where she lives, it never went anywhere. He even owns a pair of shoes that she bought for him and mailed to him. I guess when she found out that he was with me, it upset her, but she finally came to the conclusion that he was headed in the right direction, so they still talk as friends. I don't know where he met her to begin with, but they are friends on FB. I've seen her pictures and she is fairly pretty, looks a little older than me, but nothing that I think I have to compete with. I just don't understand why I feel compelled to go look at her pictures anyway. I don't understand why it should matter because he is with me, is completely focused on me, wants to begin his life with me. I know that just because they still text one another now and then, doesn't mean there is anything going on. I'm confident there is nothing going on. So why does it get under my skin like this? I would much rather him not talk to her at all.

Then, there is his son's mother. I know that this woman is going to be in his life for the rest of his life. It's his son's mother. But the one thing that gets me is the fact that I sometimes feel like I can't compare to her. He told me when he first met me, we were discussing what kinds of people are attractive to us, and I specifically remember him telling me that he thinks asians are beautiful and he likes darker comlexions and dark hair. Well, when I found out he had a son, guess what his mother looked like? So how can I compare with that when he has already told me that's basically his type?
He told me she was pretty much bipolar and had a problem with attitude, was mean, and pretty much summed her up as devil in a woman's body, and he can never see himself going back to her, but sometimes I feel like I just can't compare to the beauty he might be used to.

I know I'm a pretty girl, so why do I have to feel so insecure?