[lizzardb63]

I am starting a new job tomorrow for a city and one of the requirments of employment is to be a resident of that city. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months. We have our arguments but always work through them.
I can't afford to live on my own and I don't trust anyone else to be a roomate, we've decided that moving in together is the solution to that. Normally a person would be super excited and wanting to move out with them right away. I am happy and I am excited to be moving in with him, but it also scares me. Is this normal? Or does it mean something? I don't think of us breaking up or anything like that, but it is just scary to me.
I guess one thing that worries me is that most people say that marriages dont last as well when the couple lives together before marriage. Also many people have said they regretting living together before marriage because then when it came time to be married, nothing felt different. That freaks me out a little. I want to live with my boyfriend, but I guess I am just wondering if this anxiety is normal and if anyone else has went through this???

[lizzardb63]

Any feedback is welcome

[jns]

I am starting a new job tomorrow for a city and one of the requirments of employment is to be a resident of that city. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months. We have our arguments but always work through them.
I can't afford to live on my own and I don't trust anyone else to be a roomate, we've decided that moving in together is the solution to that. Normally a person would be super excited and wanting to move out with them right away. I am happy and I am excited to be moving in with him, but it also scares me. Is this normal? Or does it mean something? I don't think of us breaking up or anything like that, but it is just scary to me.
I guess one thing that worries me is that most people say that marriages dont last as well when the couple lives together before marriage. Also many people have said they regretting living together before marriage because then when it came time to be married, nothing felt different. That freaks me out a little. I want to live with my boyfriend, but I guess I am just wondering if this anxiety is normal and if anyone else has went through this???

Of course moving in with someone is scary, in a relationship or not, married or not. It represents a loss of freedom, but a beginning of togetherness. You will find out if you are compatible in setting up a household together. It is made more scary by the fact that you don't have the means to regain your independence on your own.

It is normal to feel anxious. I had anxiety when my wife finally got a visa to come live with me 7 months after being married and that being after a 15 month LDR. We had never lived together, but now we were going to. We were tied together by my guarantees to the government to support her as well as the marriage license.

[auntie_awesome]

My husband and I moved in together after just a couple of years, were together another four or so then finally got married. I would recommend making a list of what is yours and what is his. I know you don't want to think about the worst, but because you aren't married, you won't just simply get to split things evenly.

I actually met my husband when we were 14, in junior high...even after knowing each other for so long, we split everything up. I got the sofa, he got the couch. I got my books, he got his. I got the table, he got something else (my parents bought us the table). Things like that.

[KMonte85]

I am starting a new job tomorrow for a city and one of the requirments of employment is to be a resident of that city. My boyfriend and I have been together for 11 months. We have our arguments but always work through them.
I can't afford to live on my own and I don't trust anyone else to be a roomate, we've decided that moving in together is the solution to that. Normally a person would be super excited and wanting to move out with them right away. I am happy and I am excited to be moving in with him, but it also scares me. Is this normal? Or does it mean something? I don't think of us breaking up or anything like that, but it is just scary to me.
I guess one thing that worries me is that most people say that marriages dont last as well when the couple lives together before marriage. Also many people have said they regretting living together before marriage because then when it came time to be married, nothing felt different. That freaks me out a little. I want to live with my boyfriend, but I guess I am just wondering if this anxiety is normal and if anyone else has went through this???

Nothing unsual about feeling nervous! This is a big step in a relationship... Even though you two are obviously serious, this makes things even MORE serious because now you're blending households, and so will be sharing space, chores, and expenses.. it gets more intimate, and no matter how long

I wouldn't worry about the whole "living together before marriage will doom marriage" thing. I have always thought this thought process was a farce. How in the world does one prove that living together before marriage is cause for a couple's divorce? Personally, I feel this "statistic" only points to this because couples that live together are much less of the "traditional" mindset, and find divorce a viable option, while those couples who refuse to cohabitate before marriage seem to have a more traditional view of marriage and so wouldn't dream of ever divorcing.

I personally would never marry anyone I didn't live with first. You don't truly KNOW a person until you've lived together. I had been dating my boyfriend exclusively for over 8 years before we moved in together. And when we moved in together, boy did we learn about each other and ourselves... For a while I wasn't entirely sure I could handle it, but as we learned and adapted to each other, we're now closer than ever and have a better understanding for each other than we ever could. After living together for a little over a year, we got engaged and are marrying next year. It doesn't really impact how we feel for each other, but that doesn't make it any less exciting for me or him! We're ecstatic, planning the wedding is a blast, and our family is elated for us, even after being together for so many years, and living together first.

[lizzardb63]

Thanks everyone! This makes me feel a little more comfortable!

[OregonGirl]

I would recommend making a list of what is yours and what is his. I know you don't want to think about the worst, but because you aren't married, you won't just simply get to split things evenly.

This is a good idea because wisconsin is not one of the states with a common-law marriage law.