[ayeokay123]

thank you guys so much!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

what ive been noticing is that he’ll ask me if I want to come over & hang out, I’ll agree than he’ll ask me for money & if I don’t have it eventually all plans fail. Like example yesterday after ignoring him for 4 days, he texted me & I had an urge to text him back so I did & he asked me if I wanted to come over after work & hang out. I agreed & he asked me for money, but I didn’t have it. & he said nevermind but I wasn’t sure what he was reffering to so I asked him nevermind to what & he said “nothing your action slow man” so I didn’t respond for awhile (like 10-20 minutes) and than I texted back & asked him if he wanted me to come over still after work. No response. Than I texted him again, & an hour later he responds to the other text but not to the text asking if he still wanted me to come over. So I texted him again & no response. So I ended up going home after work.

The way I see it?

1. He made it clear, in October we're just friends...
2. Then he makes you "think" something later might happen, and invites you to family outings, or his family ask him to.
3. Then he "when he needs something" invites you over... but if you don't have money he disses the plan.
4. He puts you down, with that comment, telling you your slow, stupid.

Is that someone you really want to wait for anyway? Darn no girl...

Seriously, he needs to learn respect...Cut him loose, never hang out, never let a man use or abuse you verbally or otherwise....

Time to find someone much better than him..

CW

[Midnite]

What CW said is dead on. From this man's perspective it goes like this.

The core energy of the issue is that you want him back. If you want him back and you ignore him and then he gives you attention you just set the bar for an unstable relationship. I want you only if you dont want me, and you will want me if I don't want you, thus only way for me to have you is for me to be inauthentic and fake to keep you in my life. Now imagine doing that for 50 years. Doesn't sound very fun does it? If you love someone sometimes letting them go is the hardiest thing to do because you also must love yourself. You are worth so much more then an inauthentic relationship.

If you have to ignore a guy for him to want you back then that means he didn't appreciate you until you were gone. There is some truth to this in that most guys have no idea what they had until they feel its absence. Thus the phrase "Absence makes the heart grow fonder" however there is also a truth not spoken. Absence can let you feel a great freedom, if you felt stuck or inauthentic.

If my ex-ignores me I assume she' really hurt and I must have done something to have done that. I enjoy being friends with all my exes but i respect her choice if she doesn't want to be friends. That hurts me a bit, because if I dated her it is because I valued her.

[WildChild]

What do you call it when you expect someone to pay before they will "hang out" with you?
Not friendship
Not love

Employee? Of some kind? Is he reallyworth paying? Is he that good/entertaining/fun?

[Guest]

It works if you don't want to see him again. Assuming that's what you want ?