[kristalyn_04]

Thanks all. Thing is, he has a tendency to avoid if the situation might be uncomfortable, and/or push me away. I'm not sure if that's what he's doing, if his silence is for a reason... and if so I don't want to push it by contacting him. No, I shouldn't have to hide what I'm feeling right now, but in the past when I've tried to talk to him about "feelings" he pushed away. Yes CW, I have all his contact info, he's never on AIM anymore. He also knows how to get in touch with me if he wants to. Email, phone, text, IM, even snail mail. I am here, always have been, and I ALWAYS respond to him when he contacts me, even if I'm peeved. I don't avoid or push away.

HD, that's exactly what I've been doing, I have been leaving him be. I'm just wondering if this is the right thing to do or not. I have a feeling that contacting him to say "Hey, what gives?", might blow up in my face.

About the being busy thing... there is just no way he is more busy than he was his last semester of school, when we were chatting nearly every day about his website. According to one of our mutual friends, he works most of the day, then he goes home, plays video games, spends some time with his SO, and is perhaps also job hunting for something in his field. He has no children to take care of, no other jobs that I know of, and apparently has time to talk with other friends about what he's been up to. So, I don't think a quick line just to say "Hi how are you?" is too much to ask or expect.

[WildChild]

Chances are you will hear from him when he wants something from you.

[kristalyn_04]

Yeah, well when he does, I'm going to tell him to go fornicate himself. I have ALWAYS been there for him, when he needed someone to talk to, emotional support, a favor big or small, there I was. But if this is how he wants to treat someone he claims to be his "best friend", I'm done. Thanks for the advice everyone, I'm a little saddened right now, but I'll get over it and I'll be fine.

[Ashlee T.]

I understand being bothered by his behavior. But I wouldn't show anger to him next time he contacts you. I'd just take it for what it's worth. I wouldn't include him in my "very close important people" list that I know I can depend on. I'd put him in the acquaintance category. Some relationships are seasonal. Here for a reason, and then gone for a reason.

Don't be angry....or at least not for long.....just let it be what it is and make room for others in your life.

[Hopeless Dork]

Its understandable to be saddened. It sounds like he has, for a long time now, given you indicators that this is a one-sided friendship. As in... you are HIS best friend... you do all for him, but that he is NOT your best friend... is not there for you. So the best thing to do is to stop investing unecessary time for him, even to be angry at him... just let it roll off your shoulders. You don't have to tell him to bleep off when he calls you wanting, but you can make him the priority he has made you, which is...not very much of one. I think he's grown comfy with the fact that he can blow you off for months... and by the time he contacts you that you are so happy to hear from him, that you will get over the fact he's been out of the picture so long... so don't make a big deal when he contacts, not positively, nor negatively...

You'll feel better honey, you've taken great steps in moving on beyond the hold he had on your emotions, don't let this rattle you, rather, let it remind you that you did the right thing a long time ago in deciding to let go of some of the feelings you had for him.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

So there is a SO in his life How long has this SO been in his life?

Isn't it often the case that when lonely all of a sudden your a best friend again and when fullfilled all of a sudden friends get to go on the backburner....

And then there is, SO does not like her man talking to another woman as a "friend" especially when that other "friend" liked him at some stage, as in really liked him and helped him with a website, etc, perhaps he told her that and perhaps she's in-secure and has stated only for the website that's it.

[Texinator]

If I remember correctly, the SO may actually be a man, because I believe Kristalyn's friend is bi. Unless I'm thinking of someone completely different. I wonder if there could be a jealousy factor anyway, though.

[kristalyn_04]

So there is a SO in his life How long has this SO been in his life?

Isn't it often the case that when lonely all of a sudden your a best friend again and when fullfilled all of a sudden friends get to go on the backburner....

And then there is, SO does not like her man talking to another woman as a "friend" especially when that other "friend" liked him at some stage, as in really liked him and helped him with a website, etc, perhaps he told her that and perhaps she's in-secure and has stated only for the website that's it.

Yes, Tex is correct. My "friend" is bisexual, in a relationship with a male. This was actually part of the complication between him and I... when he told me he had feelings for me, it was when his relationship was on a roller coaster ride and falling apart at the time. He was coming to me for advice and emotional support, I was falling for him, and he knew this. Then he said he didn't actually have feelings for me beyond friendship, yet he continued to toy with my emotions, knowing how I felt about him. I got very deeply hurt, many things were said and done that shouldn't have been. I was blinded by my feelings for him at the time, so I was unable to see the situation clearly. Long story. But his SO really has nothing to do with this, it's between me and my now former BFF. I don't even think his boyfriend even knows about the whole charade that happened between him and I. So this is not a jealousy thing, at least I don't think it is.

Thank you BD and HD... you're right. I will not show any anger or resentment towards him, even though that's what I'm feeling at the moment, I'm sure it will pass and I will be able to move on. He used to be a good friend, being there when I needed to vent or for a favor, always willing to listen and help. Then when things started getting complicated, when deeper feelings became involved, that's when things started to change. I don't think we will ever be able to go back to the way things were, even if that's what we both want... it's too far gone at this point. I'm just... done.

[Texinator]

I was falling for him, and he knew this. Then he said he didn't actually have feelings for me beyond friendship, yet he continued to toy with my emotions, knowing how I felt about him. I got very deeply hurt, many things were said and done that shouldn't have been.

That shows to me that he has a history of making things about him with little regard as to how it affects others. You were good enough when he needed emotional support, you were good enough when he need technical support, and it sounds like he'll come back when he needs something again.

[kristalyn_04]

That shows to me that he has a history of making things about him with little regard as to how it affects others. You were good enough when he needed emotional support, you were good enough when he need technical support, and it sounds like he'll come back when he needs something again.

Yes, but I don't know if he does that purposely or if he is just oblivious and doesn't think things through. I honestly couldn't imagine he would hurt me on purpose, that's not the kind of person I got to know back when I was developing feelings for him. I fear that, if and when he does come back for something, and I have no choice but to turn him away, he'll ask the reason and I won't be able to hold my tongue. I would REALLY like some answers from him... not excuses, but actual answers, as to why he's acting this way. But if I have to let go at this point, then I need to let it ALL go and give it no more thought. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted from everything that's transpired between us, and I just don't have anything left to invest in this. I may be sad about this for a little while, but I will also feel like a load has been lifted off of me.