[stressed]

(Personal info deleted)

[Ashlee T.]

That's incredibly frustrating. Part of you says "Cut your losses and get over it", but the other part says "Yeah but what he did was SO wrong".

Recently an ex of mine told me of his ex (the one he cheated on me with haha) taking a bunch of his things. He had moved, and they had shared a home here together. He paid for EVERYTHING. He agreed for her to go in to the home and get her things. She not only got her things, but took several things of his that she thought may be of value. They were not things she purchased or contributed to purchasing. He was, of course, very angry at her. Said it proved to him what kind of person she was afterall. In other words, it makes you even more thankful you're no longer with that person.

What kinds of things did he leave out? Have you thought about making a list of the things that you bought and want? Let him know you have receipts for each thing and can prove they are rightfully yours. Yes, he paid rent, but he still has his apartment AND the furniture you bought for it.

[KMonte85]

It's sad to see. There are 2 people who were once so fond of each other, chose to be in an exclusive relationship, share a home, and once things go sour, then one or both people make parting ways sour... forgetting what once was, and being civil in that memory. I haven't personally been through this sort of situation, but I'm currently watching a close friend go through it with his ex. It is long and drawn out as they both still live near each other, but the hard feelings are causing her to act with her emotions and not her mind. He was lucky to get his clothing back, and he also paid for everything (he worked, she didn't. No kids). Luckily, it seems the law is probably on his side when it comes to the house they bought together... but like you, he's realizing now that as painful as it is to deal with such a messy break at the moment, once it's said and done, he'll have the rest of his life to be happy, much happier than he would have been with her. And that is worth all the dishes and furniture and the cat.

As you said, stressed, the "things" can be replaced... yes, you just made an expensive involuntary donation to a person you don't much care for, and holy cow can that be frustrating (even enraging - its YOUR things!!). But in comparison to the blessings you'll receive from making this positive change in your life? Well, there really is no comparison! You're going places now! Let him have the "stuff" because what you've got going on is so much bigger than that.

[ska1331]

I have actually had a few similar experiences and have a 21yr old son I've never seen. What I have found is aside from never getting to have a relationship with my son, there was nothing I couldn't replace or live without. I basicallytraded those things for the oportunity to have a better life and to find my true love. Sometimes we have to let go of one thing in order to receive another. If starting over from zero a few times is what it took to find my wife, well I would do it again. I pray that thru this you find the one you are meant to be with. This is only another step on the road to where you are meant to be.

[stressed]

Thanks, girls, it helps to read your comments

[stressed]

I have actually had a few similar experiences and have a 21yr old son I've never seen. What I have found is aside from never getting to have a relationship with my son, there was nothing I couldn't replace or live without. I basicallytraded those things for the oportunity to have a better life and to find my true love. Sometimes we have to let go of one thing in order to receive another. If starting over from zero a few times is what it took to find my wife, well I would do it again. I pray that thru this you find the one you are meant to be with. This is only another step on the road to where you are meant to be.

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry you haven't met your son, it must be tough on you, but like you said, some times we have to make sacrifices to live our lives. Thank you again.

[kygirl]

Stressed:

I know you may not want to mess with it, but is there any way you could take him to court? I mean, I don't know the value of all the things he kept, but maybe if he got a subpeona served to him, he might hand it all over.

If you'd rather just cut your losses I *totally* understand, but that's not fair to you either!

[Elanor-Jane]

when you lose everything i find you dont go out and aquire so much stuff. or if u do its stuff you would burn lol

sounds like he's just trying to get back at you. tool

[ska1331]

Not a problem. I only pray that you don't allow your past to hinder, but to guide and grow you. I used to spend quite abit of time wondering "what could have been" and all the "what ifs" but I have such happiness today that its not worth it. My son's mom walked out on me the night I proposed to her without any warning. Needless to say it took me a year before I could even date. As a matter of fact I didn't even touch a woman, other than hugging my mom, for over a year. Even after meeting and marrying my wife, it was still a lot of work to get over her. Sometimes its the bad relationships that are the hardest to overcome. But then you are strong, wise and able and this will not stop you.

[rcoreyus]

Hi Stressed
Maybe look at this in a positive light. He behavior will cure any doubts you could have possibly had about leaving him. It gives you absolute certainty that you did the right thing - that he was fundamentally a very selfish person. You probably already knew this, but his actions remove any possible trace of doubt. Maybe that is worth more than any amount of "stuff".