So I've been keeping my distance. On occasion he'll breakdown and come over for some companionship, just to leave in the morning and say he can't do that anymore. His last visit I saw an email he sent to another women asking to meet up. I confronted him and he said it was stupid to send that and he really should be working on himself. I promised I wouldn't snoop and He promised me that he will not chase any women, but to give him his space and no more meet ups. It has been 2 weeks and I can't handle it. I'm trying to keep myself busy trying to do other things, meet up with my friends, but all i can do is obsess about him. All day long he's on my mind, I can't eat and when I try and sleep (which is very rare) I have nightmares about him. Every so often I breakdown and violently cry. When I call I try offering him anything I can, money, love, I even went as far as trying to plan a all inclusive trip and tell him all he'll have to do is come along if he wanted to. He got really upset and said to leave him alone about that stuff and that we are no longer together so I shouldn't be offering him anything and to just let him be.
What I want is to have hope that one day, because I know it can't happen now, We can be together. I can work on myself and he can do the same - separate but together. He won't agree to this. He says he doesn't want any ties to me, which is another reason why I think he's lying about not wanting to see other women.
My fear is that he will find someone else if I stop calling. I know he loves to hear from me and longs for me, but I feel like he's ready to let me go. What I do know about him is he has a big heart and often needs a women's compassion to make him feel better, so if he doesn't want it from me, where is does he want it from. I want to believe him when he says to trust him and that he wont see anyone else, but then I come back to thinking that he's just saying that to let me down easy.
My friends suggest I give him more space, because he's not the type to lie to me. And every night send him a nice text saying a few things of what I did that day, that I thought about him all day and that I love him and if he'd like to talk to call. I really like this idea, but i'm afraid i'll loose him if i do.
Please please help. I'm so depressed, I'm afraid that i might do something stupid. He's been my everything for six years and I just can't loose him.
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