[Seniora]

Yes, lizzardb63 - but that IS also my point exactly: "cougar" is a derogatory term to describe the older woman, created by the (critical) YOUNGER generation!!

[lizzardb63]

Versus a "Cradle Robber".... that was also invented before my generation. Same thing...

[Seniora]

But I thought we were living in the age of enlightenment??!!

[Little]

Whoooaa, that's a LOT of exclamation points. Chill out! Also, we should avoid overt insults to others on the board - remember we have many valuable members of largely varying ages. None of them should feel depreciated by the words of another member

The disdain for an older woman dating a younger man is steeped in the idea that men should take care of women and that women are incapable of taking care of themselves, which is obviously hogwash. Unfortunately, it's hard to throw off the trappings of society and our conditioned responses to situations. Those people who look down on women for dating younger men have small minds and need to open them up. They might not even realize they're being small-minded.

Overlook their uninformed opinions. Don't pay them any mind.

[Claret]

Thanks Little for pointing this out.
I'd like to ask everyone what was the first thing you asked a date? Age wasn't on the top of my list. When my husband and I first started dating, I had no idea how old or young he was. 8 years isn't exactly a great difference in looks, demeanor, intellect etc. He was a University grad, as was I, we both worked in the aerospace industry, he as a senior design engineer, we both liked the symphony, arts, theatre etc. It was only when we started dating seriously that we even thought to ask each others ages. There was no age gap, nor is there an age gap today. If all this makes me a "cougar" then so be it, I've been called worse things in my life and frankly don't care one whit about someone that would have so little regard for the feelings of other people and only goes to show how small and petty some people can be. This may explain why some men seek out more mature, intellectual, self secured women.

[Seniora]

A "Cougar" is an insulting comment, probably from the "Sex and the City" mentality. You are obviously very happy, intelligent, literate and have a great relationship. I agree, 8 years is nothing at all. And I agree some men seek out more mature, intellectual and secure women. But some are also looking for cash, unfortunately, especially the second time around!!

[Claret]

My take on what a "Cougar" really is -- a woman in her mid 30's to 40's, unattached and hoping to stay that way, who frequents bars and nightclubs on the "prowl" looking for younger, able bodied, sexy men for no strings attached sexual encounters.
I don't think this covers all relationships that have an age difference. In fact I think it excludes those relationships that are of a deeper and more meaningful basis.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yes, lizzardb63 - but that IS also my point exactly: "cougar" is a derogatory term to describe the older woman, created by the (critical) YOUNGER generation!!

Seniora, I think that it is fair to say, some do not like the term, some find it amusing and there can be power in the terminology as well...

For 100's of years, women have been hunted by men, used, abused, spat out Yes?

A Cougar, to me is a woman in her sexual prime who prefers to hunt rather than be hunted.

She is single...Probably sick and tired of how she was treated throughout her life by men of her age... A younger man generally has more respect, is willing to experiment....I find logic in an assertive woman's decision to be a Cougar if she so desires.

I believe that when Demi Moore who is sultry and beautiful, ended up with Ashton, so the word started being used more, but they married....So it's not derogatory in peoples eyes, more of to me, wow? That's awesome, he is hot, she is hot and he accepts her even though she's older.

Then there is Elizabeth Taylor, she was beautiful inside and out...Her men were always younger.

If I was single? And I used botox? And looked 20 years or 10 years younger? I don't think I could pick up with an old crinkly man, if I had had enough of men in general of their non-emotional understanding of women, I'd just be happy and date someone who acted "my age" younger than the age I am.

Lucky for me I have my soul mate.

So I disagree with (critial) let alone the BOLD younger generation, mean harm with the term, in general the younger generation of men admire older women, their sexiness, wisdom and looks


I have never heard anyone call either Demi or Elizabeth a derogatory name..............

It's laugable, she who is assertive and knows what she wants goes for it...As long as she is not hurting anyone? Good for her.

IMO

[lizzardb63]

I always thought the term "cougar" was powerful. She has no limitations, is confident, sexy, independant, and intelligent. Take it as you wish...we all have our own opinions. Just because I think one way doesn't mean its WRONG and I never said you were wrong either, but its not fair to class "generations" together like that. Not everyone thinks and feels the same way, no matter the age, sex, location, etc. Its such a stereotype and its tiring. Just because I am younger I am classified in several groups, "immature, irresponsible, ****ty, unclassy" etc... it gets old. I only ask for respect.

[lizzardb63]

And just to add, I don't personally think just because a woman is a "Cougar" means she is looking for meaningless sex. As i stated above, she is confident, sexy, knows what she wants and is going after what she deserves.