[lauralou42]

My boyfriend split up with me in 2009, much too much happened to go into here. I then discovered I was pregnant and a couple of months later we got back together. We had our daughter and it's been quite tough and we've split up several times during the last year. We always end up getting back together as we both really love each other.....or so I thought. I borrowed his computer and out of curiosity mostly I checked his old Skype messages and discovered that just at the point that we were getting back together he was trying to get with a girl from his Uni class. They talked about how much they liked each other but she had a boyfriend and would not take it any further. Lots of stuff was said like if I ever found out the things her told her it would break my heart and in another situation they would be together. I always knew he liked this girl but he always denied it and said I was a 'paranoid nutter'. I am completely devastated and feel like he lied to me. I also now wonder if he only got back with me because I was pregnant and because she would not give up her relationship with her boyfriend. I told him what I discovered and he says I am making a fuss about nothing and there is something wrong with me. She meant nothing to him etc. We have now split up and he won't even talk to me about it at all. He has hurt me so much in the past, like every time we split up he goes on dating websites and talks to lots of women online, sending them nude pictures etc. I always find out what he's been up to but he says he has done nothing wrong as we were not together at the time, even though we always end up getting back together. I don't understand why he can't see how hurt I am and why I am now questioning everything in our relationship and basically going a bit crazy, because I am so hurt.....please help.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I don't think your boyfriend understands what constitutes a relationship, likewise, on-going arguements and on-going splits, doesn't constitute love, rather, two people that are used to each other and frightened to move on, knowing really that they aren't as compatible as they think.

Certainly, I have no doubt from what you wrote that he loves his daughter...And, he probably has feelings for you, but he wants to be free, he's not ready to settle down...

I understand you are hurt, but aren't you also worth something? Is it okay for a partner to send nude photos to other women, to confess a "like" to someone else, to search for someone else whilst still with you? No... it is not.

Take a really good look at the time you two have been together, I bet there was more tears, and pain than there was laughter and fun in all that time.

Yes, you have a daughter and now you can give un-conditional love knowing you will get it back, through her, with her...

I think it's time you realised your self worth and loved yourself, and realised you deserve better, he's over stepped the mark one too many times....

"If you love someone set them free, if they come back to you they are yours, if they don't they never were".....

But, you don't accept them back with false promises.

CW

[CHANDLERS WISH]

bumping

[MeghanCouture]

I hate to say it but that is not a healthy relationship. it sounds to me like he is not ready for a relationship, and that maybe its time for you to move on?