[lizzardb63]

I recently posted some threads about a friend of mine who is standing up in my wedding that has changed a lot since hanging out with a new friend. I called her, talked to her about how I was feeling and trying to show her that some of the things she's doing is destructive to herself and her 3 year old son.

Fast forward about 2 weeks....to today. She got a lip piercing (no surprise since her friend has 3). She is currently unemployed and looking for work, which I feel a lip piercing would not benefit her current situation. Anyway, I guess my problem is I don't want her to wear it when she stands up for my wedding. I do not want her to have the lip piercing in any of my pictures. I don't have any problems with piercings because I've had a few in my day (most of which came out as I got older), but I feel it looks tacky.

Am I wrong for wanting her to take it out just for that day or even compromise and she can put a clear stud in there (rather than a ring so it isn't so visible)?? I don't want to sound like a bridezilla, because I am very flexible, but I just honestly do not like it.

How would I approach this subject with her in the first place?

[LanaBear]

I don't think you are wrong for not wanting that... I mean, I wouldn't want to look at my pics and see a bridesmaid of mine with a lip piercing... Even if she would just put a very small diamond stud in it. That would be better than the ring.

As for how to approach her... I would just be honest and up front about it. I mean, IMO, it is kind of rude to do it knowing you are going to be in someone's bridal party. I'd try to remain status quo until after the wedding, but whatever, lol. Anyways, I'd just tell her, hey, I respect your need to pierce yourself but I'd really appreciate if you could change the piercing for my wedding. If she throws a fit, well, then she can see her way out of your wedding.

[Aeryn Sun]

First ask the photographer how good they are at photo shopping.

When is the wedding? If you have time, I would wait until it is healed (4-6 weekish). If you can start the conversation with the piercing stuff, it would be an intro for her admitting she is healed/fine. If you can make get her to, have her make a valid point that it is healed, and she can remove or change it out. With this in mind, you can ask if it would be possible to change it to a clear/flesh colored stud for the wedding.
A.She accepts it.
B. She rejects it.

If B, I would go into a spiel about how she is a great friend, your reasons for wanting her to be a bridesmaid and how you just want the day to be perfect for both of you. It may even help if you know your other bridesmaids are taking out piercings or using concealer to cover up tattoos. If she is still reliant, you could offer to buy the stud if funds are low.

[kristalyn_04]

It's not difficult at all to Photoshop that out, just a few clicks with the spot-healing brush. However many professionals will charge extra to do that, sometimes a lot even though it only takes a minute to do. I agree with what Lana said, and have a backup bridesmaid just in case.

[BabyGirl]

If the Piercing is healed, she can take it out for the day, it's not going to close up in one day. I had my ears pierced in 1972 and haven't worn earrings daily since the 80's.

On the rare occasion, I may put in a pair for Special occasions and I have no problem putting them in , here 20 years later ..

You can always explain that you want people to look at the Pictures, she her Pretty Face and not Focus on her Ring in her lip.

[lizzardb63]

The wedding isn't for another 10 months, so it will definately be healed by then. She's just been so different since this new friend, I don't even know how she'll react.

[BabyGirl]

Oh. Well Thats simpler.

Send her a Dress Code,

Dress is this one or that one ( if Matching ) Colors are, Hair is ( fill in Style) so all match.

Jewelry is ( Fill in Style and Color )so as not to be Gaudy, but Elegant.

Tattoos and Piercing to be Removed or Covered ( for Ultimate Photography results ).

Nail Polish to match dress or not abstract from it, Shoes Etc , to also coordinate ..

[lizzardb63]

I don't want to control everything they do. They can style their hair however they want, and as long as the shoes are black dress shoes, they can wear whichever they want. My maid of honor has an eyebrow piercing, but she wears a small stud, so it's not as noticeable. I also have a tattoo so I can't say "tattoos must be covered"...that would make me a hypocrite.

I just specifically don't like the lip ring. If its just a small stud, I can deal with that. I just don't know how to approach her about it, or a nice way to say it without her thinking I am criticising her. She can have whatever piercings she wants, that's peroggative...but I dont want a lip piercing in my photos.

[Aeryn Sun]

If your MOH is wearing a stud, then that should be allowed for the other friend.

If you are talking to her, you can say that so and so has a facial piercing, but is minimizing it for this day, and you would appreciate it if she did the same. Option 1, taking it out, option2, wearing a stud that is clear.

[lizzardb63]

I agree that she should be able to keep it in since my MOH is...but to have it minimized where it isn't the first thing you look at is preferred.