Hello everyone, I just Googled a similar question and am glad I found this forum
When we were dating, my girlfriend invited over to my house a guy friend she has had for 5-7 years, she apparently wanted us to meet and I thought and assumed they were just friends and only friends, on appearance alone I find this man to be no threat lol. On character, I definitely find this man to be of no threat. The night we met, I noticed that he wasn't really into conversation with me and I found that "interesting" considering he was allegedly a "close friend" of hers for 5-7 years. That's not how I act when I meet new love interest of my close friends.
However, I found out later that they had sex once, she never lied to me about it but wasn't upfront to clarify the extent of their past until I asked directly months later. She claims to only of had one sexual experience with this person, let's call this guy Douche, and that she regrets that it ever happened. She tells me that her and Douche even kinda dated for exactly one week, but that she wasn't into him at all and so put him back in the "friend zone" where he's been ever since. She told me that she knew he liked her and that that she still knows he likes her to this day. All our mutual friends think the same, it's fairly obvious.
So after all these years, Douche still likes my girlfriend, I even know this because I've seen how he's all over her Facebook page, desperately "liking" and commenting on everything she posts, he's such a Douche. But my girlfriend tells me Douche is in the friend zone and he has allegedly remained there for years and I do believe her btw.
She has had several boyfriends since starting up a friendship with Douche and when I asked how serious their friendship is, she said it goes in "sperts." I asked how her other boyfriends handled the situation and she said something along the lines of when's she with someone, that's when the friendship wasn't as close. I assume she runs to Douche's company when she's not in a serious relationship because they like to party and go to Raves together, the guys an "E-Tard" from what her friends told me.
Considering that she drops the friendship when she wants, I believe a respectable man, who's not a Douche, would say something along the lines of "Yeah lady, I notice you drop our friendship when you get with someone and come running back to me when your feeling down or single? I'm sorry but I don't do back burner friendships." Obviously Douche has never come close to gaining some semblance of this type of respectability. He's desperately hoping she'll give in again someday, in my opinion.
Since we have gotten together, out of respect for me and what makes me feel comfortable, she has avoided hanging out with Douche, of course Douche is mad about this and feels that it's because of insecurity that a friendship of 5-7 years is no more. This is expected from a Douche who will happily be confined into the friend zone and will wait and hope for the opportunity to catch a vulnerable rebound, or that she may "one day change her mind and see how much of a "great Douche"" kinda guy I am."
I know guys like this and it's sad that some men have to resort to such tactics and have literally no shame or sense of self worth.
I asked my girlfriend what she thinks about the phrase, "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander." My girlfriend agree's with that statement and has admitted that she wouldn't be comfortable if the roles were reversed. To me, it's so **** obvious and it's common sense of respect, plus it's literally the "Golden Rule" (treat others that way you want to be treated). It ****es me off that she couldn't of figured this obvious SH%^ out before I had to mention it and practically spoon feed it to her, but whatever, I'll gladly take that we see eye to eye on it now. I know there's no point in continuing a friendship with a woman I've literally had my penis inside of, while I'm trying to focus and pursue a meaningful, thoughtful, considerate relationship with a new girlfriend, for me to expect my girlfriend to be comfortable with that situation would be selfish and inconsiderate at the very least.
In my opinion, it's simply NOT appropriate people, period!! When I have a relationship, I think of this woman as potential marriage material and I cannot imagine my future wife wanting to continue to hang out with, and be friends with, another man whom she "gave in" to a sexual experience with before we met and especially knowing that this man, if given the opportunity, wouldn't hesitate to pounce. It would be inappropriate for me to do the same thing to my future wife or current girlfriend.
Maybe it would be different if nobody felt, her included, that this Douche had feelings for her, but that's not the case, and frankly, I'm not sure it would be that different. It just feels inappropriate. I trust her, I really do, like I said, I do not find this guy to be a threat at all and if she were to cheat on me or break up with me for Douche, I would find it comical that she would lower her standards to that level, a Douche Level if you will lol.
The guys such a Douche that he's upset with her about the situation, but come on man, if he had any class, he'd understand what's right and not right and he would be happy for her that she's happy now and is trying to do everything reasonable in her power to make her relationship work, which it is. Douche thinks I should be comfortable with her being friends with a guy who "loves" my girlfriend and is hoping and praying she gives in again, and I know he wouldn't hesitate if she wasn't of right mind either; drunk, sad/down, on ecstasy or whatnot.
In full disclosure, she hasn't made this a big deal at all and the title of this thread is misleading, she doesn't want to continue to be really close friends with this guy and has even told me that looking back on it now, she see's he's a Douche that prays on vulnerable women, he did the same thing to a girlfriend of hers when she was feeling down about a relationship. My girlfriend now knows, what I clearly saw from the beginning about Douche, that he pursues "friendships" with attractive women and knows that if he waits in the friend zone long enough, they'll hopefully give in one day.
Let me know your thoughts.
Is it "INSECURITY" or is it just what's right?? Thank you.
When we were dating, my girlfriend invited over to my house a guy friend she has had for 5-7 years, she apparently wanted us to meet and I thought and assumed they were just friends and only friends, on appearance alone I find this man to be no threat lol. On character, I definitely find this man to be of no threat. The night we met, I noticed that he wasn't really into conversation with me and I found that "interesting" considering he was allegedly a "close friend" of hers for 5-7 years. That's not how I act when I meet new love interest of my close friends.
However, I found out later that they had sex once, she never lied to me about it but wasn't upfront to clarify the extent of their past until I asked directly months later. She claims to only of had one sexual experience with this person, let's call this guy Douche, and that she regrets that it ever happened. She tells me that her and Douche even kinda dated for exactly one week, but that she wasn't into him at all and so put him back in the "friend zone" where he's been ever since. She told me that she knew he liked her and that that she still knows he likes her to this day. All our mutual friends think the same, it's fairly obvious.
So after all these years, Douche still likes my girlfriend, I even know this because I've seen how he's all over her Facebook page, desperately "liking" and commenting on everything she posts, he's such a Douche. But my girlfriend tells me Douche is in the friend zone and he has allegedly remained there for years and I do believe her btw.
She has had several boyfriends since starting up a friendship with Douche and when I asked how serious their friendship is, she said it goes in "sperts." I asked how her other boyfriends handled the situation and she said something along the lines of when's she with someone, that's when the friendship wasn't as close. I assume she runs to Douche's company when she's not in a serious relationship because they like to party and go to Raves together, the guys an "E-Tard" from what her friends told me.
Considering that she drops the friendship when she wants, I believe a respectable man, who's not a Douche, would say something along the lines of "Yeah lady, I notice you drop our friendship when you get with someone and come running back to me when your feeling down or single? I'm sorry but I don't do back burner friendships." Obviously Douche has never come close to gaining some semblance of this type of respectability. He's desperately hoping she'll give in again someday, in my opinion.
Since we have gotten together, out of respect for me and what makes me feel comfortable, she has avoided hanging out with Douche, of course Douche is mad about this and feels that it's because of insecurity that a friendship of 5-7 years is no more. This is expected from a Douche who will happily be confined into the friend zone and will wait and hope for the opportunity to catch a vulnerable rebound, or that she may "one day change her mind and see how much of a "great Douche"" kinda guy I am."
I know guys like this and it's sad that some men have to resort to such tactics and have literally no shame or sense of self worth.
I asked my girlfriend what she thinks about the phrase, "What's good for the goose, is good for the gander." My girlfriend agree's with that statement and has admitted that she wouldn't be comfortable if the roles were reversed. To me, it's so **** obvious and it's common sense of respect, plus it's literally the "Golden Rule" (treat others that way you want to be treated). It ****es me off that she couldn't of figured this obvious SH%^ out before I had to mention it and practically spoon feed it to her, but whatever, I'll gladly take that we see eye to eye on it now. I know there's no point in continuing a friendship with a woman I've literally had my penis inside of, while I'm trying to focus and pursue a meaningful, thoughtful, considerate relationship with a new girlfriend, for me to expect my girlfriend to be comfortable with that situation would be selfish and inconsiderate at the very least.
In my opinion, it's simply NOT appropriate people, period!! When I have a relationship, I think of this woman as potential marriage material and I cannot imagine my future wife wanting to continue to hang out with, and be friends with, another man whom she "gave in" to a sexual experience with before we met and especially knowing that this man, if given the opportunity, wouldn't hesitate to pounce. It would be inappropriate for me to do the same thing to my future wife or current girlfriend.
Maybe it would be different if nobody felt, her included, that this Douche had feelings for her, but that's not the case, and frankly, I'm not sure it would be that different. It just feels inappropriate. I trust her, I really do, like I said, I do not find this guy to be a threat at all and if she were to cheat on me or break up with me for Douche, I would find it comical that she would lower her standards to that level, a Douche Level if you will lol.
The guys such a Douche that he's upset with her about the situation, but come on man, if he had any class, he'd understand what's right and not right and he would be happy for her that she's happy now and is trying to do everything reasonable in her power to make her relationship work, which it is. Douche thinks I should be comfortable with her being friends with a guy who "loves" my girlfriend and is hoping and praying she gives in again, and I know he wouldn't hesitate if she wasn't of right mind either; drunk, sad/down, on ecstasy or whatnot.
In full disclosure, she hasn't made this a big deal at all and the title of this thread is misleading, she doesn't want to continue to be really close friends with this guy and has even told me that looking back on it now, she see's he's a Douche that prays on vulnerable women, he did the same thing to a girlfriend of hers when she was feeling down about a relationship. My girlfriend now knows, what I clearly saw from the beginning about Douche, that he pursues "friendships" with attractive women and knows that if he waits in the friend zone long enough, they'll hopefully give in one day.
Let me know your thoughts.
Is it "INSECURITY" or is it just what's right?? Thank you.
Some Ex~ gal may run into you and Eyes may Sparkle and GF's Eyes will be Green or Red .. 
Get The Newsletter
Comment