[CHANDLERS WISH]

Hun.

This is why he is with you.

You are independent you have no intentions of bleeding him dry. You are there because you love him, not something he has had now has he.

I admire all that you have done for yourself.

The problem is, is that you think differently to him. You had to work your butt off for you and for your child, no one was there for you.

He realises he fell for you, he left her for you, and his way of getting past perhaps that guilt and obviously, it's his nature, he intends to ensure they are all ok.

She has 3 years to get her self together and get back into the work force and learn how to earn it on her own like you did, or find someone else and make him pay

The bottom line is, it's his money. You aren't married sweet. When you are, you both can make management decisions, in the mean time, you honestly don't have that right but more so, you need to see what you went through as to why you are reacting this way.

If there is sufficient funds left over from his pay monthly for you to contribute with and both live comfortably and happy that you found each other, isn't that enough?

Her texting/emailing though you need to pull the pin on that. You are in his life now and whilst he may be worried she won't let him speak with the kids, he has to gently change this somewhat with her. In respect for you.

[Latindiva1982]

Chandlers Wish,

Thanks for your advice! Your right we aren't married and yes both of us together make more thank $30,000 a month. He has told her to only email/text if it's an emergency with the kids or if it's business with the house or his business's that she can wait to email at a decent time or his personal email but she just don't stop. I guess I have over reacted and have to stop the arguing with him over this and stop taking things out on him when it's her that don't stop. I just hope I don't loose the little patience I have. Once again thanks!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You know, this is probably part of the Divorce settlement, he's being smart really, he's giving 50% she can't get anything else out of him even if she wanted to I don't believe Then you have $22k a month left between you at the higher rate Something she will never have, that type of future... In 4 years if you two never spent a cent you would be millionairres, she won't.

Love your man and be proud of him for not being an ***.. It means you have a caring loving guy there.

You are not over-reacting, just saw it differently based on all you are and all you've been through.

[Quest]

I think you shouldn't influence what he's going to do in the slightest. My mom got alimony + child support and I felt it should have been for longer. I now hardly ever speak to my father and I don't give a (insert something to indicate how much I dislike her) about his new wife. The truth is you will likely never be considerd anything but a drain on his resources from his kids perspective.

[Latindiva1982]

Quest,

Why do you feel your mother should have got alimony for a longer time? Have you ever sat down with your father and mother and asked why it happened? How old were you when they split up? Has your fathers wife ever reached out to you and tried to talk to you? Has she ever tried to do for you? (mani, pedi time or shopping spree) just the two of you? I will do my best to help provide for his kids physically and mentally and if they still take it as I'm on a drain on there father so be it.