[janie82]

I been trying to tell my boyfriend that I wanna separate. His like in denial or something. He won't leave. I told him I wanna separate because of things are not going right. And I just wanna get out of this relationship.
My family came from out of town but I couldn't leave yet because I wanted to get things situated at home. Like give my pet dog away to my cousin. And other things before I left.But when they were here we had several arguments my boyfriend and me. One because my little brother made a mess and I told him he only complains when my family comes over but not when his comes over. Another because I went with my family out to the mall. I mean I am busy with school and have not seen family in like a month and I missed them. So my boyfriend gets all mad and trying to control me. So we argue again because I tell him that he justs wants for me to be at home and he can go out. I think he has serious psychological problems. Honestly he knows I dont love him. I told him I wanna separate but the next day he acts like nothing happened and still his here. His tried to scare my little girl last night he drew a picture of a demon and showed it to my little girl. She told me that he showed her the picture and she was all scared. She's only 3 years old. I dont know what to do I feel trapped. Someone please help.

[Little]

He's abusive. If it's your house, CALL THE POLICE. If it's his, you have to leave. Go somewhere; ANYWHERE.
NO MATTER WHAT kind of hardships you would face by leaving HIM, isn't it worth it to save your little girl from his actions?

[kaylar]

There are times in which one does not make announcements.
This is one of those times.

Listen to Little.

You may save your own life.

[mr.mansview]

"little" and "kaylar" are right..RUN and don't look back..

[janie82]

Its my home Little I pay rent its under my name. But I was thinking of just leaving because he don't want to leave. He scares me sometimes with his odd behavior. He can be happy then all grouchy for no apparent reason.

[JubesInquest]

Its my home Little I pay rent its under my name. But I was thinking of just leaving because he don't want to leave. He scares me sometimes with his odd behavior. He can be happy then all grouchy for no apparent reason.

Uh, you have to move and quick!

If you want to stay, you best call the police and have him removed... oh, but what they might say is, "Well, Ma'am, you let him live with you, and he knows this to be his place of residence. We can't arrest him UNLESS he actually commits a crime against YOU and/or YOUR CHILD."

You don't want to wait for that to happen. He's done more than enough to show that he's prone to do just that.

IMO, I would prefer to move anyway. One -- he won't know where I'm staying; Two -- you said you pay rent, right? You should tell the landlord YOU and YOUR CHILD are moving out and that you will have no further responsibilites associated with the property. Pay up your part of the rent, so that he doesn't try to sue you; also, make sure you have a receipt for your payment, signed by the landlord. Three -- If you have any utilities in your name, GET THEM OUT OF YOUR NAME.
Don't respond to any contact he may try to have with you... that is, your phone, texting, etc. Change your number IMMEDIATELY!

Kaylar was right on point when she noted that you DO NOT ANNOUNCE YOU'RE LEAVING! Not with someone like this guy. He sounds like he has worse-than-stalker tendencies.

[kaylar]

I think we all know how this story ends...

Get out...and do what Jubes told you just to protect
your financial standing...
but I'd leave first, and then contact the landlord.

[free spirit]

Some tips before you leave. And you NEED to leave.

Find that pic that your bf drew and keep it safe. Document all threats. By this I mean write down everything that has happened in chronological order.

Gather up all of your important papers, fav. keepsake stuff, your daughters fav. stuff and bring them to a friends house for safe keeping without your boyfriend or your family knowing. This is important. They need to be in the dark about this for a little while.

Tell your boss that you are going to take some time off for a family emergency. Tell them not to give any information to your bf if he calls or stops by.

Call the phone company and tell them to turn off your phone. The same with the electric company. Call your landlord and tell him/her what is going on. That you have tried to get him to move and he wont'. That you fear for yourself and your childs safety.

Now leave. Go to a women's shelter. They will have advocates there that will help you. They can help you get a restraining order, which it sounds like you need. They can put you up in a safe house where nobody will know where you are. Don't tell anybody where it is either, because you could be jeopardizing the lives of the other women there.

If you don't know how to find a women's shelter, stop by a police station and ask. They will help you.

Don't wait. This is only going to escalate until somebody really gets hurt. Abuse is all about control and he controls you! It's time to do what's right for your daughter. You will be a lot stronger for this. You will also be able to be a better mother because you won't be living in fear or walking on egg shells.

Leave. Disappear. It's the only way to keep you and your child safe.

Advice from someone who's been there.

[free spirit]

huh. s t u p i d is censored. ??

[JubesInquest]

huh. s t u p i d is censored. ??

Yeah, I guess so. I just noticed that, too, when I tried to use "s t u p i d" in a post, and had to replace it with "foolish".
Go figure.