[adviceanyone]

okay so following two bad relationships i met this guy through another friend. from the moment i met him i knew that i just wanted to be friends with him and didn't want anything more... i feel no sexual attraction toward him or have an desire to be with him romantically.. i had told him that i did want a relationship and only wanted him as a friend..

we have been friends for just over 2 months now. we do spend alot of time together but nothing ever happens. however these last few weeks have been extremely weird. him and his family have been way over the top and last night i was realized the full extent of it.

yesterday i went out to dinner and drinks with him and his family and they were pressuring me to be with him , were saying how much they like me and that they really want me to be apart of there family.

my friend was very drunk and told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me. ( i dealt with them telling me how much they like me for hours and no matter how much i said that i only want to be friends they would not listen ) it was highly embarrasing as they kept hugging me and were very loud and drunk. ** i knew people that were also at the pub , my exes friends and they witnessed everything**

i was so overwelmed and felt so pressured and just downright scared that i just wanted to run away. the thought of being in a relationship with him is just so scary and i am now cringing at the thought of seeing him again. i understand why guys are players and dont want to deal with the emotional ******** that girls bring to the table. ( i want to have flings now , the events of last night has made me want to just have fun and be single )

i ended up making up an excuse to get away . my friend asked to come back to my house , i declined him and said i was tired and wanted an early one. after that i recieved alot of drunken text messages from him telling me how much he loves me and how happy i make him. i did not reply to any. however this morning i did text him telling him that last night really freaked me out and that i hope i hadn't given him the wrong idea and that i thought we were just friends and that if he cant understand that then we need to stop hanging out..

i am now more sure than ever that i dont want a relationship with anyone and that i just want to have fun ..

what happened has really made me realize why guys are players and dont want a relationship ( i wish i had of understood the way guys feel when they are pressured to be with someone , maybe i would not have made so many mistakes lol...)

how do i handle my friend now? i really enjoy his company and he has helped me alot to move on from my ex.. i dont want to loose him as friend but i cant keep hanging out with him when it is only going to give him the wrong idea can i ?

[jns]

It doesn't sound like you gave him the wrong idea. It's just he took things the wrong way and thought you two were getting more romantic. Further, he is probably getting pressure from his family to settle down. Hopefully he will be OK with the situation and not pressure you to upgrade the relationship. If he has really fallen for you, it could be tough on him and he may end up getting angry. Is the relationship just friends or fwb?

[adviceanyone]

the relationship is just friends... he even called another friend of mine crying to her because he does not understand why i don't feel the same way for him.. i feel so bad :/ and i don't know if we can go back to the way things were before this.

i know he is getting pressure from his family to settle down. but i am not the girl for him.. i am still at uni , i want to have fun , travel , run a muck if i want to . i don't want to be in a serious relationship or be commited to anyone.

i am terrified to see or hang out with him again after what went on last night.

[jns]

I don't see a good answer for him and I don't see a good answer for you. It would probably be best to end the friendship. It's not that either of you did anything wrong, it's just that he needs to break from what he has dreamed of so he knows it was a fantasy. It will be painful for him, but he will learn to move on and will get in a relationship of the type he wants, that is reciprocal, somewhere in the future. Also somewhere in the future, you will probably be at a time and place and in a relationship with someone that you want to take further. Just not now.