[femmefatale]

I dated a guy for six months. We were really close--I thought. He told me he loved me & cared about me--& showed it as well. Two months ago he told me I was beautiful, intelligent, & perfect for him but something was "missing" & we split. He says he is scared because he was hurt badly by an ex-wife who cheated on him & hasn't had a relationship for years. But he's been divorced for 15 years!

We remained Facebook friends. Lately, he "likes" & comments on my posts daily, often multiple times a day. Last weekend I went to a party & posted some pics of me wearing a sexy little red dress. He commented on the album with a single word: "Ouch."

He also keeps finding little reasons to stay in contact with me. It's confusing and feels like mixed messages. I know for a fact he's not seeing anyone else. Why does someone dump you & then behave like this?

[jns]

He likes having you close, but doesn't want you too close. If you want a real relationship, this does not sound like the guy for you.

[Hopeless Dork]

I agree with the above. He could be trying to keep a door open with you by leaving the comments etc, he could be bored and needing attention but whatever the case -- a guy that is using a divorce that happened FIFTEEN years ago as an excuse to not get close to someone... just doesn't want to get close to anyone.

If you get your hopes back up with this guy, I imagine he will do that whole push pull thing again, get you all under wraps -- then say hmmm I just cant commit.. or something of that nature.

The boo-hoo poor me, I've been mistreated by a woman act is only cute for a few months to even worst case a year after the incident, but carrying it on for decades.. he either doesn't want to get better, or doesn't know how but either way.. you deserve to be with someone that is ready to let their gaurd down and love you.

[femmefatale]

I know you're right. It just gets me because before we starting going out, he was interacting fairly heavily on my Facebook page--although not every day or almost every day like now. I know that he told the secretary of another lawyer (he's an attorney) who is a friend and has an office near his that he was "talking" to me on FB. He's doing the same thing now but even more often, it seems.

The day I posted the album with the red dress pictures, he went on FB and "liked" the album that day around 2 p.m. Then, later about 5 p.m. is when he left the "ouch" comment. And he's on my ********** Facebook page every day.

When we first went out, I met him at a club to hear a band (his son's band), and he said later he was surprised. He said he didn't think I would actually show up. I think lack of self-esteem and insecurity is part of the problem here. I once told him I was lucky to have him, and he said, no, he was definitely the lucky one. So much for that...

[femmefatale]

We have been back together since Election Night. It has been wonderful! He was afraid I thought of him as just a fling and was afraid of letting go, that he might get his heart broken. He said he thought of me every day when we were apart and I took a piece of his soul. The first couple of times we were together again, he was very emotional and cried. He said he finally had to break down and give in to his feelings about me. Things are even better than before. Let’s hope they stay that way. December 23 will be a year since we first got together.