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just found out boyfriend is bi!!!!!

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  • just found out boyfriend is bi!!!!!



    Junior Member Array

    Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 1

    just found out my boyfriend is bi,,,,,,

    well were do i start!!
    i have been with my boyfriend for 1 year , i have known him for 20, for the last 6 months we have had a few issues, as he totlally went off sex , all hus e kept saying was he didnt have a high sex drive,, just before xmas i found out he had been on dating sites!! he says he hadnt done anything only joined!! he deleted the account straight away, then last week i found out he been on another site only this was for sex only ! there were messages on his profile from women and men! i did a little investergating before i confronted him to ensure he couldnt deny, i know he not had sex with anyone else it was just messages , when i confronted him he finally admited he used this site before we were together and that nothing had happened everything he told me i had already had confirmed from the users he was messaging!
    he works away all week so trust is a massive issue after what i found, We had a very long talk and he has now admitted he is orally bi! only now he want me to go to a swingers club with him so we can both enjoy a man!!! i love this man and am so confused right now! i want to be with him but i dont think i can ever make him happy in that way ,,, what do i do ?????????
    I have just had a major operation and am now into the menopause so this hasnt helped the sitution either!!!!

  • He's asking you to have an open relationship. You are either okay with that, or you're not. I don't mean to minimize your issue, because I understand that it is HUGE, but it's truly that black and white. Him being bi isn't the issue, him wanting to CHEAT is an issue.

    It sounds like it's time to really do some soul searching here, for yourself. This man is on a firey slope of cheating (if he hasn't already). He's depriving you of sexual contact which I'm sure makes you feel unattractive and unwanted. Are you really getting what you need out of this relationship or are you two perhaps, better off as friends?
    "Be what you're looking for."


    • His behavior suggests he is not committed to you at all. You are experienced enough to know what you want from a relationship. Is this it?


      • I don't see any problem with a man who is attracted to people other than their wife, whether those people are men or women. I think almost everyone finds someone other than their partner to also be attractive. What IS a big problem is that he wants to act on this attraction.

        Some people do enjoy swinging / multiple partners, and its fine for those who do. The majority of people though want a monogamous relationship. Only you can know how YOU feel about this, but most people would say no. If you (like most people) do not want an open relationship, you need to find out if he is willing to live in a traditional one.


        • Thanks for the advice ,, I have had a very long talk with him and explained this is not what I want from our relationship , he has accepted this . Not sure what will happen from here because we do both love each other ,,, we were getting married! That's been put on hold ,,, we still got a lot of talking to do so shall see


          • If you really love him then accept him for what he is. But you have to accept the consequences also since there is a big possibility that he will cheat on you for a guy.


            • Forget about him



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