[Laurie F]

My boyfriend and i have been together just under 2 years and a few weeks ago we went on a "break" which lasted all of 2 days because we were both so miserable. He said the reason was because "something didnt feel right together" but then it "felt empty without". We both love each other but i cant trust him anymore after that. He talks and flirts with another girl. She's his best friend but theres a difference between friendly conversation and the conversations they have. She has helped our relationship a lot though, giving us both advice and she's my friend too. She's not particularly the problem, just that he talks to her more than he talks to me and he's more considerate etc to her than he is to me. It hurts me a lot because i really want the relationship to work and even though i've voiced my issues to him, it usually just turns into an argument where he is "made to look like the bad guy". Any advice on how to fix this would be really appreciated

Laurie x

[Bladyn'smommy16]

Oh no red flag she's giving you advice on your relationship but talks and flirts with him she can seem innocent but she is not something is probably going on I know you probably don't wanna hear that but don't be fooled its happened to me with someone I thought was my friend the same way it's happening to you so be warned!

[Euphoric]

My boyfriend and i have been together just under 2 years and a few weeks ago we went on a "break" which lasted all of 2 days because we were both so miserable. He said the reason was because "something didnt feel right together" but then it "felt empty without".

The relationship is not "new" (though for those of us who have been relationships for decades, this still seems new, LOL). In the very beginning of a relationship, both partners do little things to make the other person feel special. As time goes on, the newness wears off and we start to get comfortable in the relationship. Sometimes in doing so, we forget to tell or show the other person how much we love them. Depending on how comfortable we get, sometimes we stop dressing up or do little things to make ourselves as attractive as we once did. We become complacent.

We both love each other but i cant trust him anymore after that. He talks and flirts with another girl. She's his best friend but theres a difference between friendly conversation and the conversations they have. She has helped our relationship a lot though, giving us both advice and she's my friend too. She's not particularly the problem, just that he talks to her more than he talks to me and he's more considerate etc to her than he is to me.

Are you sure she is flirting with him? Just because two people of the opposite sex are best friends and have an open line of communication does not necessarily mean they are flirting. I have a male best friend with whom I can discuss anything with and he does the same with me. We have been best friends for 20+ years. There is nothing we haven't discussed. Sometimes when he is having problems with his wife, he tells me and asks for advice. Why? He wants to hear honest feedback from a females point of view, which is exactly what he gets. Likewise, I have sought his point of view. Sometimes when we are in a relationship, we are too close to the source to see clearly or look at things objectively. Just for the record, my friend and I have NEVER been romantically involved with each other. He is like my brother, and I'm like his sister. Sure people have commented that there is no way a male/female can have that kind of relationship without there being something going on. I'm here to tell you, yes, people can have strictly platonic relationships. When he was deployed, I wrote my friend weekly. EVERY letter was signed, Love xxx. That is because I do love him, from the bottom of my heart. But I'm not in love with him.

We have some guys here on the forum that give excellent advice as well. There are several, but just off the top of my head, jns and rcoreyus (not trying to leave anyone out, but I'm not writing a novel here ) are a couple that I feel the same about. I have never met them, but I do believe they would tell me what I needed to hear and not what I wanted to hear.

Your BF obviously loves and cares about you, or he would have used the breakup period to carry things farther with his friend, but he didn't. Instead, he came running back to you because he was miserable without you.

Nobody can say for sure if this relationship will stand the test of time. You state that "we went on a break up", so that implies this was a mutual decision. If that is the case, I would find it hard to hold the two day hiatus against him, solely. You say that she has given you advice too, and that she is not particularly the problem. With that said, it sounds like you may be a little jealous that he seems to open up to her more than you. Is there a reason why he feels he can't be as open with you? You mention arguing and him looking like the bad guy. These are just some points to ponder. If you can find answers to these questions, maybe he would be more open with you. Good luck!

[jns]

Laurie, maybe his friend (and yours) can get him to understand that he is being somewhat neglectful of you. Try talking with her. I have learned about certain things from my wife's friends about what my wife was thinking that I wasn't aware of and was able to do something about after being alerted.

[Trisha23]

Your boyfriend might eventually develop a feeling toward your best friend. If your bf really loves you, he'll understand that you are not comfortable the way he talks to your best friend.

[Guest]

My boyfriend and i have been together just under 2 years and a few weeks ago we went on a "break" which lasted all of 2 days because we were both so miserable. He said the reason was because "something didnt feel right together" but then it "felt empty without". We both love each other but i cant trust him anymore after that. He talks and flirts with another girl. She's his best friend but theres a difference between friendly conversation and the conversations they have. She has helped our relationship a lot though, giving us both advice and she's my friend too. She's not particularly the problem, just that he talks to her more than he talks to me and he's more considerate etc to her than he is to me. It hurts me a lot because i really want the relationship to work and even though i've voiced my issues to him, it usually just turns into an argument where he is "made to look like the bad guy". Any advice on how to fix this would be really appreciated

Laurie x

:-/.. Something doesnt sound right in my opinion. mistress possibly :-(?? Not cool. He should be only seeing u and bonding with u only flirt with u etc.... Hi

[Guest]

hi Laurie
take the advise of what ladies say

what Mr. jns said is also true but ...,,,...,,,...,,,

i had experienced similar things

my wife's friend said me MANY times that my wife is working hard, office pressure, pressure from kids and that i shud understand her more etc etc all kinds of good stuff & dirty talks also with me

some how they find out things, enter our brain like a virus n start damaging relationship

lets be cautious (very very)