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Fiance cheated; got her pregnant. how to deal?!

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  • Fiance cheated; got her pregnant. how to deal?!

    My fiance and I have been together 3 years, I got pregnant the third month we were together, and now have a two year old son. I also have a five year old from a previous marriage. Anyway, my fiance has been living with a friend for about a year, we don't live together and while he was living here he had cheated on me in January 2012 with this girl who lives on the couch at his friends (his friends fiance's best friend). I forgave him. Then I found out in September that he cheated again with her and now she is pregnant and due in May. I have been angry, we have been fighting bc I don't trust him at all, but he says he loves me and doesn't have feelings for her, which I don't believe. Her and I have had our share of words bc she still tried to be with him. The other day I walked into the house and they were both asleep on the couch together. I turned around and got in my car but he came running out saying she was sick and he accidentally fell asleep there. Today I went there and she wouldn't open the door, she opened the window and said he wasn't home, then he called when I got to my car and said to come inside. I think he was on the couch and didn't want me to see again. I live him but I'm emotionally drained, I'm angry, I'm sad. I dont know how to deal with this. she's about to give birth next month and they will be in the same house. I can't deal with her, but I'm in love with him. Please give me advice.

  • Hi Banks,

    Can I ask why your fiance' does not live with you? He has a child with you, a 2 year old.. And, if he intended to marry you another child a 5 year old.

    I know you say you love him. I appreciate that you two weren't together very long before you became pregnant but have appeared to manage to run the storm.

    However, he seems to me to be someone who has no morals, respect who just does what he wants and uses words.

    He seems non-commital as well.

    What is there to love about this guy? What does he do for your children, does he support them both financially?

    How does he support you emotionally, you seem like you run on your own there.

    What is there to love about him


    • It seems he is into her as much as he is into you. As for his part, I don't see any commitment. As CW asked: What is there to love about him?
      I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
      Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

      From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


      • You should really just drop this dude..I kind of know what you going through besides that he lives with this woman basically.. But the rest I understand.. My advice is if he truly loves you he would not associate with that woman until the baby is born. If he can not do that for you then its not really love.. But from what you are telling us about him sleeping on the couch with her and all. You should really just move on because he is cheating on you still it sounds like..I know you two have a child but still he isn't worth all this stress he puts you through..


        • Drop him, file for child support and move on. He obviously wants to sleep around and has no real desire for you two and your two kids to be a family or after 3 years and a child you would be.
          Ask yourself why would you even want someone like that?

          The issue isn't the other woman, it's him.


          • The long term with this guy is going to be pain, doubt, nights crying and wondering where he is,
            with who and what he's doing. Is that the futur you want for you and your children? I don't think
            so! You deserve alot more and you will find it. Break away from this cycle of lies and excuses.



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