I now have a wonderful fiance and a baby boy. Before i got engaged and had a baby, **sigh** i cheated on my current fiance with my ex.
Yes i know, i was very disgusted with myself and i hate myself for it. Thing is, my ex was very special to me. He was my first boyfriend, first kiss, first love, we took each others virginity...he's just very special. So when he started texting me again, saying he misses me very much and he wants to be with me, it was so hard to turn it down.
Well, we broke up in 2010 but in 2011 we started talking again, and it got out of control, I then cheated on my boyfriend at the time (now my fiancé) and he broke up with me, but then we got back together the next day.
What makes it worse is I have to go to school with my ex. In the same building, same lunch room, and same hallway at times.
The pain still hurts so much to this day when he broke up with me. I feel like without him, I wouldn't be whole. He stands out in a crowd, his voice gets my attention immediately. He gives me butterflies that nobody else has given me before. I break down crying just typing this.
Please don't get me wrong, I love my fiancé very very much. He has done so much for me and I love him and my beautiful baby boy to pieces.
My ex tells me he still loves me and wants to be with me but knows it will never happen again, and it won't happen again....but just thinking that it will never happen again breaks my heart into a million pieces.
I don't know, I just can't get over him...I've tried and tried....I just needed to let it out. Thanks for listening
And I know what I did was very cruel of me, I shouldn't of done it.
He can get it elsewhere.
Miss some of the oldern days JNS
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