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He gives out the keys to our home

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  • He gives out the keys to our home

    My boyfriend and I recently moved in together in a beautiful flat in central London. It is quite a substantial rent we are paying and we have been here for one month. The problem is, when we are away for the weekend, my boyfriend has been giving our house keys to one of his friends to stay here in our home whilst his friend rents out his property for around 200 dollars a night. His friend and I do not see eye to eye and I do not trust him or like him. The first time my boyfriend did this, he consulted me first and I agreed on the basis that I was helping my boyfriend out. The second time (within a month) he gave our house keys out, he did not tell me-I got a knock on the door at 2.30am from him wanting me to let him in because he had given his keys to his friend. There was nothing I could do about it.
    I am quite a private person and I do not like it that someone else has seemingly free access to my home and my things whenever they want, especially when I do not trust the person a I haven't agreed to it.
    I have returned after a weekend away to the house today without my boyfriend who is staying with his parents for a few days. Upon my return i realised my boyfriend has also given out our parking space this weekend, which we also pay rent for, to one of his other friends who I don't know (you need our house keys to open the gate to the underground parking). My boyfriend has told me that he isn't 100% sure who now has our house keys.
    He doesn't seem to understand that it makes me feel a little intimidated that someone out there has the keys to my place and I am in home alone. He doesn't understand that the house to me is a private space that he shouldn't be inviting people to stay in without us here without me knowing. We are experiencing a very cold spring in the UK and his friend who stayed over has broken one of our heaters in the front room (not maliciously) so it is freezing cold now. If I knew he was coming I could have told him how to work the heater so I now wouldn't be sat in the cold.

  • Sounds more like a vent

    I guess it could be that when you agreed the first time, your boyfriend took that as in general so proceeded again.

    Why are you staying together in a place that is so expensive that he has to let it out in order to assist financially? Sounds as if you are living beyond your means.


    • Get something back from your bf, or his friends. That way you won't feel so bad. Or change the locks on him.


      • Sounds like you need to sit your boyfriend down and talk to him about this situation(if you haven't already). If your boyfriend isn't sure who all has the keys you may have to get in touch with the landlord and maybe see about having a new lock put in. I do have to say that no matter how much I trust someone, I still wouldn't want them coming into my home anytime they want to and especially when I'm not there. You should be able to feel safe in your own home.



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