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I can't want sex with my boyfriend :(

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  • I can't want sex with my boyfriend :(

    I love my boyfriend more than anything in the world and we have an amazing relationship..

    Except I just can't seem to want sex it's nothing he does wrong, I'm definitely attracted to him and a lot of the time I really want sex but just can't seem to do it. I'm a confident person so it's not self asteem issues and we're only 20. We've been together around 2 years and at first I wantedsex all the time but I just can't seem to get it back. It's getting between us because I know it gets him down and effects him emotionally but I don't even know how to explain to him when we do have sex I'll feel gross after and feel like I want to cry and can be quite hostile as I feel I've done something I don't want to do.

    Please help me I want to enjoy sex again!!

  • Any medical changes, new birth control or something else physical that could be causing this? Do you desire (at least as a fantasy) sex with anyone, and do you masturbate? Is there anything he is doing or not doing that is causing you to now want sex?

    A good sex life is important to a relationship, so you need to try to figure this out.


    • Well I am pregnant, but this starting slightly before I conceived. I just don't want it with anyone, don't even think about it. But everything else is perfect so I don't want this to ruin everything I just really don't know what I can do to get my sex drive back and he tries everything.


      • Could be hormone changes from your pregnancy, or maybe stress. Sorry, out of suggestions, hopefully other posters will have some ideas.


        • You might explore what you are associating with sex. If you were intentionally trying to conceive, then your thoughts and beliefs around getting pregnant, motherhood, birth, your sense of who you are going to be now that you are mother can all play a role in how you feel about sex.

          You may not be doing this intentionally or consciously, but if you believe or are thinking, "I am now pregnant or soon will be pregnant, that means a painful, dangerous birth. It also means I will loose my sexy shape and people will look at me differently. And it isn't proper for mothers to be sexual beings. Etc. Etc." your libido could be seriously impacted.

          If you didn't intend to get pregnant, you could be thinking, "Oh ********, now I'm tied to this guy forever. And there go my plans for the future. And how am I going to be a mother? Etc. Etc." Those thoughts, too, would impact your libido.

          Be honest with yourself. What thoughts and beliefs do your have about this pregnancy, motherhood and this relationship?



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