[MisFits]

Hi all
Some advice and views welcome, thanks in advance.

I have been in a long distance relationship for 5 years now. Due to reasons we can't be together yet. Before i met this guy he had an affair while with his ex, before my time and everyone has a past,so i try and forget that. Just the other day he told me that the girl he had the affair with got in touch,and they was happy chatting via online,then they swapped phone numbers and carried on chatting via mobile.
I dunno how often they chat, as im not there with him. I am really finding this hard to deal with and feeling very upset by it all. I have been on the end of an affair as my first partner did it twice to me, i don't know if that is a reason why i am finding it so hard to deal with.
He swears it was just a friendly chat between friends, who have not spoke for over 5 years.

What do you guys think?

[Claret]

Where there is smoke, there could be fire. What caused the two of them to go separate ways and do they still have unfinished business. You need to find this out from your so and then determine what you'll do.

[MisFits]

It was just an affair..He was with a girl who was expecting their baby, he stayed with his girlfriend and i don't know about the other girl. He has told me she is married now with children, but i know nothing about her apart from what he has told me.
I really don't know what to do,as i was meant to be seeing him in a few weeks,now i am so confused.

[MisFits]

Can someone move this post to dating plz. Think i posted in the wrong section sorry.

[Claret]

What is the purpose for the long distance relationship? What are the reasons why you two can't be together? My feelings are that if he could cheat while living with his ex, he certainly could cheat while in a long distance relationship. Why did this person contact him? How was it that she knew where to get ahold of him? Get some answers to some of these questions before getting in any further.

[MisFits]

We both have children is the main reason. My oldest wouldn't want to move with me and as i am not with his father he would be on his own and i don't think he is mature enough to handle the whole living on his own thing, and i don't want to be selfish to just think about me.
She found him on skype,not hard to type a name in and find people on these websites now. I have asked why she got in contact and all i get is "i don't know,she just did".

[Trisha23]

It seems like something fishy is going on. If he really loves you and respects you, then he should stop talking to this woman by now because he knows you won't like it.

[Pollon]

On the one hand, he did tell you about their conversation. However, whether there is more to this contact with the affair or not, out of respect for you and your relationship, he should let this "conversation" with his old fling die of neglect if he can't cut it off outright.

But respect for relationships (his previous marriage, her marriage and your relationship) may not be his thing. So unless you are willing to draw the line, he is going to continue it.

You can try saying,

"Honey, I'm really uncomfortable with you picking up a conversation with an old sex partner. So I would feel more secure and respected if you put an end to it."

His response will tell you how much he values your needs and concerns.