[*~SimplyMe~*]

hey gurls well its been a while since I have asked for help but of all times I need it now. Since me and my ex broke up I took my freedom and ran with it. I became reckless and I felt like I was untouchable. I was going out all the time monday thru sunday. I would drink and get drunk I went to work drunk a few times, sometimes I wouldnt come home or other times I would come home at all hours of the morning. I picked smoking back up. Well saturday at a party me and my x's best friend were drunk and high ( the drug was legal it was bought at a local smoke shop) and we were flirting and by the end of the nite we kissed. Well he told my ex after I said we both were gonna do it. Now I know why he wanted to do it alone he blamed everything on me.At first my ex wouldnt talk to me and he called me a *****. Well me and me ex talked and he told me stop drinkin and start actin right. I never would of done that if i was sober I really wouldnt. to make things worst I made my mom cry by my new habits she is so worried about me. you know i really do love my ex still but i know now its too late.

[C]

First I would say don't blame your being drunk on what you did or what you were going to do. Just an excuse for your actions. I think everyone is telling you the right thing to do. Now it is time for you to absorb it and give up all your bad habits. Life will not change to accept your bad behavior, YOU MUST.....

[JubesInquest]

SimplyMe,

It's time to do some growing up.

Let go of the drinking and drugging... it serves no purpose other than a little "high" for a minute; but it can cause a lifetime of regret.
You make better decisions when you're sober anyway.

It sounds like you need to go to an AA meeting... sorry, anytime you drink and take drugs like that, you need intervention.
You've got some problems in your life that you're not dealing with head-on, and you mask dealing with them by drinking and so forth.

Realize you're in a bad way, and get some help for it and move on with your life.
Leave the ex boyfriend alone, and leave his best friend alone.

Start fresh; get a new outlook on life.

[alibaby]

The first part of fixing a problem is recognizing that one exists, so I'm glad that you've come to this point. I agree that you need to forget about your ex and his best friend and concentrate on helping yourself. AA meetings...counseling...dropping people that have a negative influence on your life...whatever it takes to make your life better, do it. I know it all seems hard now, but think about how much better you'll feel with all of this behind you.

[MaxiC]

Hold on a minute.. AA meetings are a bit far surely. You've had a break up and your upset and a little lonely.. You probably find it hard to talk everything through with those closest to you right now.. Its perfectly normal to go out and have a few drinks.. Granted the going to work drunk and partying 7 days a week is going overbord, but i think kissing you ex's best friend has been the shock back to reality you needed. You should have realsied the ex's best friend was going to try to shift the blame on to you, its always the way, but at least you have spoken to your ex and had the opertunity to tell you side of the story.. If he loved/loves you and ever trusted you he will know you are not the kind of vendictive person who would go out and try to run his friendship with his best mate by kissing him for a cheap thrill. He would also know that the drinking and smoking is out of character for you and obviously a result of you being upset by your breakup. The main thing now is to get back on track. You may think your number one priority is getting back with your ex but believe me its not.. Its your work and your mother.. Let her know how upset you've been and that you know you were acting out, but that your ready to get back to normal and work at your life again. When your work life and more importantly your family life is back on track, then you can start to think about your ex and see if your still have feelings for him. I think too many people are too quick to write people off as alcoholics and drug addicts these days, i dont think AA is the answer to this particular case. Just time, family, hard work and perhaps a few trips to the cinema instead of the pub..

[JubesInquest]

"AA meetings are a bit far surely"

How so? IMO, anytime you are drinking and druggin' 7 days a week; going into work drunk and doing things that make no sense---even to yourself--- is cause to get some help. If not AA, then a counselor or therapist.

"Granted the going to work drunk and partying 7 days a week is going overbord"

That's what I'm saying.

Is she taking public transportation? Does she have a designated driver while she's going to work drunk? If not, then she's putting herself at risk and others IF she's driving herself to the job while drunk. Therefore, she needs some kind of counseling BEFORE someone gets hurt or even worse.

[MaxiC]

But thats a lot of assumptions and "what if's" ..She hasn't said she drives drunk to work, and she hasn't said she goes to work drunk 7 days a week.. I can see your point completely but i think its extreme for this case.. plus she has now recognised the problem, as have others around her.. Let the girl work it our herself or with family and friends, or try to.. talk of AA and therapy is scary to hear.. and if its needed well and good but i dont think it should be the first port of call for all problems big or small, and i think thats what it has become..

Perhaps its a cultural thing. Im not American, most people on this site seem to be. We seem to have a different out look on these situations where im from (Ireland)

[JubesInquest]

Anytime a person posts on this mb, or any other mb, there will be a lot of "ifs" and suppositions b/c we don't know anything more than what is stated.

We're all free to give an opinion when someone posts---that's the reason for posting in the first place!

Bottomline: She needs to deal with her problems head-on as opposed to drinking and taking drugs.

Drugs and alcohol is still a dangerous mix.