[ShellElaine]

I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and I can honestly say that I am in love with him.. However, he has cheated on me multiple times and has lied to me. He had cheated on me when we first started dating and I had just found out about this a few months ago. He told me that was the only time when I asked if he had done it more than that. I shortly found out after that he had cheated on me two other times as well.. I was devastated and heart broken. I believed that he was truly sorry after a few months but then he had hooked up with someone while we were on a break. I have major trust issues and I constantly wonder if he's lying to me or cheating on me again. We get in a lot of fights because I accuse him of things since it is so difficult to trust him. He constantly tells me that he loves me and that he promises that he will never do anything to hurt me again but I'm not sure of it. I know that the easy answer is to just break up with him but it's so difficult to end it when he is the first guy that I have ever loved and I want so badly to believe him but I'm afraid that he will never change. I'm just stuck on what I should do and I don't know if I should end it. I feel like part of the reason why I hold on is because I feel as if it would be more painful to end it than to keep holding on.

[rcoreyus]

It sounds like he will just keep cheating. You can either decide that an open relationship is OK and you don't mind him sleeping with other women, or you can leave and find someone who won't cheat on you. I don't think anything you can do will stop him from cheating.

There are lots of good guys out there who will not act like this.

[Pollon]

Shell,

The question is what drives you to "love" a guy who cheats and lies to you? Until you understand that, you are vulnerable to repeating the same mistake again and again.

[BabyGirl]

Your Ages may help us give the " Proper " Advise here .

Key words to some of us ( I'm close to 60 years old )
Are.. Trust, Fight, Hooked up, Lied,First Guy,Loved, Cheated..

The next few are .
I Love, I Hurt,He Promises,I constantly worry,I cannot Trust.. I don't know what to do ?

I feel like part of the reason why I hold on is because I feel as if it would be more painful to end it than to keep holding on.

The easiest answer for this is to ...
Take all of your Words and Decide if That is How You want to Live your life ?
See yourself 6 months from now, with no changes in him or you ?
See yourself and possibly Children, 3 years from now with no Changes in You or Him .

There is your Answer .
Are You worth a Better Life ?
It is Your Choice. You Deserve to be Happy .

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think that when someone is entering into a relationship they can be selfish. They are developing feelings but haven't fallen in love and cheating as we put it can occur, shouldn't don't get me wrong but can.

I also think when people break up, they are allowed to do what ever they want to do and should. It enables them to consider their options, past, future , present. And, making a decision..

Life is about learning.

If he outside of that has cheated as well? Then you can not believe him.

If it was only "from what you have established" at the entry and during a breakup? Then I would believe him but question if he is ready for a long term commitment as he sees checking out other women as a man's thing that can be done, unless in a proper relationship.. Would he then continue long term in one? Maybe he is not ready to settle down.

Sex is sex.

Love is love.

How does he make you feel? What does he do for you, with you?

[Hcrippy33]

It sounds like he will keep cheating as long as you forgive him for it.
I know how it feels to be in love with someone & even though you get hurt you don't want to let them go but I think you should truly consider your options because it's not right for him to do that to you multiple times. Everyone makes mistakes but if it's a mistake made over & over that's not right.

[jns]

An open relation sanctions his actions outside of the relationship. Having one does not automatically put an end to his lying. Will he continue to lie when it is convenient for himself?

[secret0524]

Shell,

The question is what drives you to "love" a guy who cheats and lies to you? Until you understand that, you are vulnerable to repeating the same mistake again and again.

WORD.

Once a cheater always a cheater, as many others say, I honestly don't think this guy would change this habit and there's not much you can do whether to make the decision to stay with him or leave him. But would his lustful behavior with other women be tolerable to you?

[rcoreyus]

I might modify that a bit. If the reasons someone cheated don't go away, then they will do it again. If it is just because they are selfish then that won't change. Sometimes there are other reasons.

WORD.Once a cheater always a cheater, as many others say, I honestly don't think this guy would change this habit and there's not much you can do whether to make the decision to stay with him or leave him. But would his lustful behavior with other women be tolerable to you?

[ShellElaine]

This really helped me a lot. Thank you so much. I ended up breaking up with him and I'm actually surprised that I'm not very sad about it, in fact I feel so relieved! Your response made me realize that I am so much better off without him and I don't want to be miserable in the future if I stay with him. Thank you!