So I dated this guy about 3 years back. We went out for 8 months, but by the end of it I was tired of him and his crap, but I didn't have the heart to break up with him so I waited until he broke up with me. I never truly liked him or loved him. He was nice at first (they all are) and so he caught my attention, and we had a few things in common. But then after a month he moved an hour away for work which isn't a big deal to me. But the problem was getting him to come and see me. Sometimes, we'd have plans to hang out on a weekend, then as he was driving home he would call me to say that he was going to a party, or he'd lie about it and I'd find out later that he was at a party. He never invited me, and he was just doing stupid stuff all the time. He'd always get drunk. Sometimes even force me to have sex when I didn't want to and I told him no but he'd do it anyway. I'm not sure if he cheated on me or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if he did.
Anyway, so we broke up. I dated other people, he did too but not for very long, he mostly just hooked up with people but I had other relationships. I didn't talk to him for a while cause I had him blocked. Now I'm happy, I'm single but I have a "friends with benefits", who is also my best friend but we met like 6 months ago and decided to do the benefits thing from the start. I was stupid and "cheated" (for lack of better word) on him twice with an ex who I only dated for one month. My friend was upset, understandably, and he threatened to stop talking to me if I do it again. I haven't done it again. It was a stupid mistake.
Now though, my ex (not the one I had sex with, but the one I dated for 8 months) keeps contacting me. We hung out twice, both times in public. One time he cuddled with me in his car and I felt uncomfortable, mostly because I worried about my friend. The other time he held my hand as we were walking. He keeps telling me he wants to go camping, but I'm like "we hung out twice, I don't feel comfortable camping with you, in a tent alone" but he still asks me as if he doesn't get it. He just keeps saying that he won't try to have sex with me, but I know he will. He also says that he's changed, and I have noticed some difference but only very, very little. He still goes out, gets wasted and parties, is in so much debt that if I dated him again I would be waiting years for him to be able to settle down. He says he'd get engaged to me if we were dating for four or five years. He says that I was the best girl he's had, and he regrets breaking up with me and treating me the way he did, but I know if we got together again it would be the same crap over again. He hasn't had a serious relationship since me, so he never truly got over me.
Another thing that bugs me, is that he keeps hoping that I'll cave in and date him again. I really don't want to lead him on, and I know if I continue to hang out with him he'll get the wrong idea and probably bother me even more to go back out with him. But at the same time he's been nice to me, so I would feel mean if I just went ahead and blocked him. I wouldn't mind being just his friend, if he wasn't in love with me still. But it's his feelings that are making things complicated. I know what he's like, and guys like him don't change. I never talk about deep stuff with him because he doesn't get it most of the time.
Should I just block him again? Or should I have a talk with him and explain that I don't want to hang out for a while, probably not ever. But talking with him never does any good, it's like there's a wall there. I just don't want to hang out with my ex and end up hurting and losing my best friend for some guy who only wants to get in my pants. My best friend truly cares for me, and I know he loves me, I'm just not sure in what way. He's been there for me since I've started my recovery from depression, so I am thankful that he is still around even after all that. So I really don't want to lose him by having sex with my ex. I just want to get my ex off my back for good.
Any suggestions?
Anyway, so we broke up. I dated other people, he did too but not for very long, he mostly just hooked up with people but I had other relationships. I didn't talk to him for a while cause I had him blocked. Now I'm happy, I'm single but I have a "friends with benefits", who is also my best friend but we met like 6 months ago and decided to do the benefits thing from the start. I was stupid and "cheated" (for lack of better word) on him twice with an ex who I only dated for one month. My friend was upset, understandably, and he threatened to stop talking to me if I do it again. I haven't done it again. It was a stupid mistake.
Now though, my ex (not the one I had sex with, but the one I dated for 8 months) keeps contacting me. We hung out twice, both times in public. One time he cuddled with me in his car and I felt uncomfortable, mostly because I worried about my friend. The other time he held my hand as we were walking. He keeps telling me he wants to go camping, but I'm like "we hung out twice, I don't feel comfortable camping with you, in a tent alone" but he still asks me as if he doesn't get it. He just keeps saying that he won't try to have sex with me, but I know he will. He also says that he's changed, and I have noticed some difference but only very, very little. He still goes out, gets wasted and parties, is in so much debt that if I dated him again I would be waiting years for him to be able to settle down. He says he'd get engaged to me if we were dating for four or five years. He says that I was the best girl he's had, and he regrets breaking up with me and treating me the way he did, but I know if we got together again it would be the same crap over again. He hasn't had a serious relationship since me, so he never truly got over me.
Another thing that bugs me, is that he keeps hoping that I'll cave in and date him again. I really don't want to lead him on, and I know if I continue to hang out with him he'll get the wrong idea and probably bother me even more to go back out with him. But at the same time he's been nice to me, so I would feel mean if I just went ahead and blocked him. I wouldn't mind being just his friend, if he wasn't in love with me still. But it's his feelings that are making things complicated. I know what he's like, and guys like him don't change. I never talk about deep stuff with him because he doesn't get it most of the time.
Should I just block him again? Or should I have a talk with him and explain that I don't want to hang out for a while, probably not ever. But talking with him never does any good, it's like there's a wall there. I just don't want to hang out with my ex and end up hurting and losing my best friend for some guy who only wants to get in my pants. My best friend truly cares for me, and I know he loves me, I'm just not sure in what way. He's been there for me since I've started my recovery from depression, so I am thankful that he is still around even after all that. So I really don't want to lose him by having sex with my ex. I just want to get my ex off my back for good.
Any suggestions?
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