[Heather22]

So me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 7 years. I love him very much and for the most part happy. I only say that because I see some things I could improve and him as well. We have been living together for about five year and just a few months ago got an apartment together. Everything has been great cooking cleaning together and I believe we have found a balance in our lives. This only thing I would love would be the ring. I know I don't want to smother him so I rarely bring it up. But he has told me once we are in our place that's when it will happen. And I surely don't want to jump the gun since its only been a few months but I can't help but feel like it's never going to happen. I see friends having babies and getting engaged and married when they only date for a few years or less. I don't want to be jealous but it hurts more really. And also I feel bad because he has always been distant with intimacy. Same place and late at night. Well I want spontaneous love lol we have a whole place to our selves. And when I bring it up he just says sex isn't important. Which I can be grant full he isn't using me. But I was a virgin when I met so now I feel maybe I am not as good. Idk I just want to enjoy my life with him but I feel like I am being neglected. Does anyone feel the same? Thank you

[EricNYU]

he just says sex isn't important.

That's a big red flag. You should be glad you're not married yet. You still have time to rethink this before you commit to this and get stuck in a life where you're neglected. I've been there with my ex. Its hell.

[rcoreyus]

IMHO the ring doesn't make a relationship better, or even different, it is just a symbol to the rest of the world of love and commitment you already have. Its a nice symbol, I'm happy to be married, but it didn't change anything.

EricNYU is right - sex is important, vitally important to a good relationship. It is certainly not enough by itself if other things aren't there, but I don't think a couple can be happy together if their sex life isn't good. They will always be wondering what they are missing. I'd say you should fix your sex life - or give up and find someone else, rather than marry someone who will leave you disappointed for many years to come.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Heather, it is fantastic if you can share day to day chores it's called equality but also you have to enjoy intimacy in all its form, including the funny side of it.

Sex is just sex, but intimacy is different, maybe take the lead a little. You never know.

But it's important to share your passions there as well and discuss that, and get that to a good enough point before the ring...

Sometimes it's just pure habit.... Where positions are concerned but sounds as if, it's horny and so get it done, which is not what you want for a sex life the rest of your life.

[MissPinUp]

Sex is absolutely key in any relationship and I have to agree that his comments are a big red flag. Please, do not think that it's you who got "worse" or Anything like that. Actually, you have more practice at this point and are more aware of what you want and need so it's only supposed to get better!

I would absolutely be less concerned about the ring and more so that this key element seems to be missing. You mention that its always been the same place, at night. Is he generally affectionate towards you? Kissing? Hugging? Does he take the time to make sure you are pleased? If the answer to those questions is no, then there is definitely a problem that needs to be discussed.