[Tammy40]

I have been with my husband for 16 years we have two children, I found out nine months ago that he has been cheating on me off and on for four years and as a result of his cheating the young lady just had his child almost a month ago when I asked him about the reason why he cheated he says I was drunk most of the time and I didn't mean to hurt you now this girl has this little boy and I am really hurt behind this situation I don't want anything to do with the baby nor do I want my children to know about this baby they are 2 and 5 I don't know if I want to stay or walk away please let me know your thoughts

[rockwilson]

Wow! You must feel devastated, but how in the world could he cheat for 15 years without you knowing about it? If he is willing to stop seeing this girl and go to marriage counseling, maybe the marriage can be saved, but honestly, after a fifteen year relationship, she is as much a part of his life as you are. There is plenty of pain to go around here. I don't see how your marriage can survive this. My advice is to divorce him, suffer through the pain and start over. Your only other option is for you to stay together and be miserable for the rest of your life. I hope that you have a good friend who will listen to you.
Actually, I was in this type of relationship. I am ashamed to admit it, but I will in the hope that it will help you somehow. I met a married woman after my divorce and feel madly in love with her. She kept promising me that she would leave her husband, but never did. After a lot of years she broke under the pressure coming from her husband (he knew she was seeing me) and the pressure from me. She broke up with me and left her husband. Then she started a life of promiscuity. It wasn't pretty. Everyone suffered. One more thing, it will take one year for each year you were together, to get over this. I recommend seeing a hypnotist to help deal with the pain. There aren't a lot of therapists worth the time it takes to see them, but you do need someone who will just listen to you. Good luck.

[rcoreyus]

He says "He" was drunk, or "you" were drunk? (sorry can't quite tell from the sentence structure).

[Tammy40]

Thank you I am seeing a therapist to help me deal with this

[Tammy40]

he was drunk