Anybody got any unusual breakup stories they'd like to share? I got a text today from an ex that was one of my stranger cases ...
This was a few years ago. I hadn't been with him for too long (maybe 6 months) when he decided it was time to end things. He was a very intense musician type guy who tended to overanalyze things and was easily made anxious over things that weren't really such a big deal. To make a long story short, he 'dumped' me (dumped in quotes because I'm not really very dumpable
) after agonizing over what he felt were longterm incompatibilities between us. (This didn't involve my bisexuality btw, at least not directly. I was not 'practicing' at the time so to speak, though of course he knew I was bi.)
Now, with the exception of my first heartbreak in high school - everybody has to have at least one - I'm not usually very upset over the end of relationships, so this was not really a big deal to me. Not to sound heartless, but after I figured out that I need to be the one in charge of my emotions, I just don't get too worked up over this stuff. Things begin, things end, life goes on. It's usually just the way things go, and the lesson I learned about there being no truth to those "can't live without you" feelings was a valuable one.
All that said, I do tend to treat exes very well, both at the time the relationshp ends and into the future. I don't blow them off or run and hide. Instead I continue to communicate as much as they need for the change to go as smoothly and unhurtingly as possible, but without extending any false hope. Basically I have an attitude of "we may be over, but I'm not gone from your life like a thief in the night just because of that." Usually exes appeciate this consideration, because those early days of breakups can be very stressful. I help them through it, and when they feel strong enough to finally move on, then I gently let them go. This rather than making them go cold turkey, which I think is really cruel and unnecessary unless the ex is a creepy stalker or something. But most people aren't.
Anyway, after the band guy dumped me, his attentiveness and desire to be with me - basically acting like a boyfriend - about doubled lol. I was frequently contacted for comfort and reassurance, which I happily provided for him. We even met up and cuddled some, though there was no sex. (I don't believe in the breakup sex thing or the sex with exes thing if they're emotionally vulnerable.) Human contact helps people though, so I'll provide that. But it's moreso the sort of comfort your mother gave you before getting you back on your feet, dusted off, and ready to take on the world again. So in a strange yet very real way, I had to walk him through the steps of dumping me and hold his hand through the process.
It worked. He's now a friend inasmuch as we still talk every once in a while, like with his text today. He has a new girlfrined, and he's over me now, so it's all good. Just thought it was kind of cute really that I helped a boyfriend dump me.
Let's hear some other stories!
This was a few years ago. I hadn't been with him for too long (maybe 6 months) when he decided it was time to end things. He was a very intense musician type guy who tended to overanalyze things and was easily made anxious over things that weren't really such a big deal. To make a long story short, he 'dumped' me (dumped in quotes because I'm not really very dumpable
) after agonizing over what he felt were longterm incompatibilities between us. (This didn't involve my bisexuality btw, at least not directly. I was not 'practicing' at the time so to speak, though of course he knew I was bi.)Now, with the exception of my first heartbreak in high school - everybody has to have at least one - I'm not usually very upset over the end of relationships, so this was not really a big deal to me. Not to sound heartless, but after I figured out that I need to be the one in charge of my emotions, I just don't get too worked up over this stuff. Things begin, things end, life goes on. It's usually just the way things go, and the lesson I learned about there being no truth to those "can't live without you" feelings was a valuable one.
All that said, I do tend to treat exes very well, both at the time the relationshp ends and into the future. I don't blow them off or run and hide. Instead I continue to communicate as much as they need for the change to go as smoothly and unhurtingly as possible, but without extending any false hope. Basically I have an attitude of "we may be over, but I'm not gone from your life like a thief in the night just because of that." Usually exes appeciate this consideration, because those early days of breakups can be very stressful. I help them through it, and when they feel strong enough to finally move on, then I gently let them go. This rather than making them go cold turkey, which I think is really cruel and unnecessary unless the ex is a creepy stalker or something. But most people aren't.
Anyway, after the band guy dumped me, his attentiveness and desire to be with me - basically acting like a boyfriend - about doubled lol. I was frequently contacted for comfort and reassurance, which I happily provided for him. We even met up and cuddled some, though there was no sex. (I don't believe in the breakup sex thing or the sex with exes thing if they're emotionally vulnerable.) Human contact helps people though, so I'll provide that. But it's moreso the sort of comfort your mother gave you before getting you back on your feet, dusted off, and ready to take on the world again. So in a strange yet very real way, I had to walk him through the steps of dumping me and hold his hand through the process.
It worked. He's now a friend inasmuch as we still talk every once in a while, like with his text today. He has a new girlfrined, and he's over me now, so it's all good. Just thought it was kind of cute really that I helped a boyfriend dump me.
Let's hear some other stories!
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