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  • Asia29
    Member
    • Nov 2007
    • 17

    I am hurt and confused!

    i was really mean to my boyfriend in the beggining of our relationship i was rude i did nto show him love i would just trest him real bad but my day came he got tired of it and just turned the tables on me and started treating em the way i sue to treat him i feel he has so much anger i know i messed up i also want to show him that i care beacuse in reality i dont show him at all i push him away when he wants affection he gives me millions of chances to change but he is still treating me the same way bitter,he says he is hurt and that is why he is acting like that to protect himself from getting hurt but know he is hurting me! what should i do should i leave him or should i change the same way he did for me over night.
  • rcoreyus
    Veteran Member
    • Sep 2007
    • 4369

    Originally posted by Asia29
    i was really mean to my boyfriend in the beggining of our relationship i was rude i did nto show him love i would just trest him real bad but my day came he got tired of it and just turned the tables on me and started treating em the way i sue to treat him i feel he has so much anger i know i messed up i also want to show him that i care beacuse in reality i dont show him at all i push him away when he wants affection he gives me millions of chances to change but he is still treating me the same way bitter,he says he is hurt and that is why he is acting like that to protect himself from getting hurt but know he is hurting me! what should i do should i leave him or should i change the same way he did for me over night.
    If you want to stay with him, then start treating him well. He will probalby do the same for you after a while. When he does - keep treating him well. Don't play the "I only want you if you don't want me game".

    Comment

    • inshock
      Member
      • Jan 2007
      • 22

      Try and treat him the way you want to be treated. If he is mean to you softly and lovingly point out how you feel. Don’t accuse him or tell him his actions are wrong. Just tell him you feel hurt. If he doesn’t stop, excuse yourself from being around him until he cools down. Either be loving or don't be around him. Expect the same from him show him you mean it (don't let him be mean to you, leave if he won't stop).

      Remember not to attack him or his behavior. Tell him how you feel. And be as nice and loving as possible to try and soften him up.

      Comment

      • Little
        • Feb 2007
        • 4329

        You were mean to him, and his actions are understandable. If you were as mean as you say I'm surprised he hasn't called it quits yet.
        Like the others have said, you need to make the decision and the positive action of showing your love/caring to him, being nice to him, treating him well, and explaining to him that you don't want to argue anymore.
        It is HARD to pull a relationship back from that, but if it is worth it to you, I wish you lots of luck. Just try to talk to him about how you feel, APOLOGISE, and move on from there.
        <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

        Comment

        • sourpuss
          Veteran Member
          • Dec 2006
          • 3581

          Originally posted by Little
          You were mean to him, and his actions are understandable. If you were as mean as you say I'm surprised he hasn't called it quits yet.
          Like the others have said, you need to make the decision and the positive action of showing your love/caring to him, being nice to him, treating him well, and explaining to him that you don't want to argue anymore.
          It is HARD to pull a relationship back from that, but if it is worth it to you, I wish you lots of luck. Just try to talk to him about how you feel, APOLOGISE, and move on from there.
          I totally agree. I would expect someone to do the same to me if I had been nasty and hurtful.

          You need to sit down and tell him that you are sorry and that you want to work it out and that you are going to make some serious changes in the way that you treat him. (it would be good to have a few specific examples here) Then ask him up front if he is willing to set aside his hurt and anger and give you the chance to make it up.

          Comment

          • Asia29
            Member
            • Nov 2007
            • 17

            We talked

            we talked and decided that we were ging to try he said he can change for me and that he dont need time, he is hurt and everytime we talk about him leaving he trys so hard to stay and work it out he puts more effort into the realtionship than me he is good to me he pleases me in evrything just to see me happy. he writes me letters he does it all to try and help me understand my faults i just hate when he does it i feel like im getting treats me like a kid im real hard headed. i love him and he real good to me i just have trust issues and he has a kid with someone else i get mad when he goes to see that woman, i think the worst and thats when i start flippin. but overall he is a wonderful man!!!

            Comment

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