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  • topple2
    Junior Member
    • Jan 2014
    • 1

    Just found out my bf is bi and has been cheating on me

    So, I have been in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend for about 2 years now and everything was going great for about a year and then suddenly out of the blue he says he doesn't know how much longer he can take being in a LDR. At the time, both of us were not able to move closer to each other because of work/school. We worked everything out and decided to stay together and try to make it work. Fast forward to today, 8 months later. Everything has been more than perfect and I'm happy and he seems happy as well. I'm visiting him for the new year and my visit has been great so far. Today he leaves for work and I started snooping (I know this is so wrong but I couldn't help myself) and went through his sent e-mails. He has been answering craigslist ads from women seeking male companions for a night. These stretch out for about 3 months in between each one and no telling how far they went as he deleted his inbox and not his sent folder. Some of them I was willing to cut him some slack on because they were during a time we hadn't seen each other in over a year and were going through some problems. But the very last one was the one that was the biggest problem. It November 2013 (just before our most recent visit) and it was him answering an ad for not only a man but a transvestite. I'm not sure how far it went because as far as I can see, he sent his picture to the guy and didn't get a reply. But there was also one other ad that he answered in February 2013 with a man looking for a man and they exchanged a few e-mails. The last one was him asking if the guy wanted to play today, and the guy saying yes. Nothing else.. I'm not sure if they went through with it or not but.. it's clear that my boyfriend is bi and has probably been with other guys.

    So I don't know what to do. I've never dreamed of being in a situation like this and it almost makes me sick to my stomach. I don't have anything against people being gay but personally I don't know if I can handle my boyfriend being into guys. I know not many people have been in this situation but I'm at a loss of what to do.
  • rcoreyus
    Veteran Member
    • Sep 2007
    • 4369

    I wouldn't be concerned about his being Bi, but you have every right to be concerned about his cheating.

    Comment

    • Pollon
      Veteran Member
      • Nov 2012
      • 327

      If you had proof that he had sex with these Craigslist women would you stay in the relationship?

      If you had proof that he has sex with other men would you stay in the relationship?

      If you showed him what you found when he comes home today and he said, "I was just messing around with people. I never met any of them." Would you believe him?

      And if he did manage to convince you that he never met any of them, how are you going to feel when you go home and only have your electronic communications to rely on? Could you really carry on a relationship like that?

      Comment

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