[acousticsoul]

I basically don't want to be around anybody who could care less how i'm doing or don't think much of me including family.I'm a naturally quiet and laidback person but I open up when I feel comfortable enough around a person to and I feel like you don't have to open up to everybody.Once I hear that you've been talking about me or I get a feeling that you don't think much of me or you don't make a effort to see how i'm doing I distance myself.I just don't care to be around my mom side of the family just her two sisters and one of my cousins the others had said something negative about me or to me or they compare me to my sister and say she is their favorite and don't think much of me or i'm not close to them.

I don't really see my mom side of the family because like I said we aren't close and they don't seem interested in me.I want to cut them out my life and have a family of my own but I don't want to feel guilty or hear "That's your family and they're the ones who's going to be there for you" which isn't true.

I feel like if I cut them out I will be so much more happier and feel free to really be me. Has anyone ever distance themselves from family and has been happy?

Have any of you not invite family to your wedding?
Do you not go around people who don't care to be around you,family included?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think in life, we have to realise that we belong only to ourselves. But, in that, we surround ourselves with like minded people and as such we lead a reasonably happy life as it is our choice.

What is not our choice is family. And, we will always find people within that group that we do not get along with, people that are negative, judgemental, favour one over another etc. The key is not to allow those people to bring you down.

In "your" life, outside of family only surround yourself with positive like-minded people and love yourself, be happy in your own skin, warts and all. You will always have to deal with family and cutting them out of a wedding for instance is letting them win. They will never stop talking about you then

Remember, you are you and they are themselves, it's a good trait to realise ignorance or negativity in others but a strong person sees it, understands that is "them" and takes no notice, does not allow it to affect them and keeps a distance enough as to not allow that negativity to have any impact on them.

[catwoman]

Remember, you are you and they are themselves, it's a good trait to realise ignorance or negativity in others but a strong person sees it, understands that is "them" and takes no notice, does not allow it to affect them and keeps a distance enough as to not allow that negativity to have any impact on them.

Completely agree. The family on my dad's side talk about everyone behind their backs. It is what it is, but I still attend some family events. You can't let it bother you as much as you do. Your happiness shouldn't depend on ones opinion of you. You know you, and if what they say or think isn't true, you know the truth. You can distance yourself from them, but I wouldn't suggest cutting them out of your life. You're always going to have someone talking about you behind your back. That's life. It's not easy and it's not fair, and people aren't always nice. You just have to keep your head high and move on. I am not saying that you need to surround yourself with these types of people, obviously if they are toxic then you need to distance yourself.

I also agree that if you cut them out of your wedding, you're letting them win. Just more conversation for them.

We have a family member who cut all of the family out of their lives over something really trivial, but we still invited them to our wedding, because you have to be the bigger person.

[catwoman]

Something else - I also think that people who talk about others are usually insecure, jealous, or unhappy with their own lives.