[kate61]

I am a single mother of 1,am 28 and by now I thought I should be settled in a loving relationship. And all the relationships I have been involved in I have been lied to and cheated on. At this moment I don't see myself working on a relationship. I know I won't be single forever but I feel I would just date and forget about commitment. I know I am a caring and loving person but they just throw **** on my face. I am not one for affairs but am tired of feeling used. I feel I would just date and date. Not that I will jump from one guy to another. Any ladies out there with the same feelings?

[Something_Awesome]

Yes it is.

Doesn't matter how bad a day I have, I feel much better and forget all my worries when I am with my significant other. And she feels the same with me. In all honesty, she is the only person I want to be around. What's more is that I like to get into her hobbies and she likes to get into mine. Like if she wants to do chick stuff, I will try to get into, but not out of respect for her or for the sake of us bonding, but because I desire to get interested into what interests her. She does the same with me. Before me she knew jack squat about football. But now she enjoys watching it with me. Again, I want to emphasize the fact that we don't just get into each other's hobbies because we are trying to preserve the inegrity of the relationship or anything like that; we do it because we DESIRE to love what the other loves.

Don't try to avoid relationships. Yea, you do risk heartbreak, but the gain of finding the right person makes the risk worth it. And not to sound like a party pooper, but if you find the right guy when the child gets older, then he/she will resent any guy you try to bring into your life.

And one thing I always say is that time is a finite resource. It can never be replenished. Make use of it now.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I don't know, off course it is worth being in a relationship

I was 44 when I had to start all over again, that was really difficult, I'm engaged and have been for nearly 4 years.

I think the key for me if this helps you, was I saw through the liers, the guys that just wanted a booty call and walked away quite deflated to be honest. At 28, and 44, there are limited amount of single guys that are seriously looking, most have had a hard time themselves and therefore don't care and aren't ready.

What you have to do is ascertain if they are ready or not, or if they still have baggage, date, date and don't sleep with them, you'll soon work it out and say "sorry, you're not for me" or , OMG finally...

Also some women date out of loneliness, then settle then get burnt. You would be telling your daughter never, ever do this, the rule applies to you to.

Use dating as a means to go out, get dressed up and have a conversation, remind yourself what dating is all about but don't expect each guy you meet is the one or they are telling you the truth from get go.

Date and date until you get to know them, then decide on a relationship or not, the guy that wants you will wait, the others will nick off

[kate61]

Yes it is.

Doesn't matter how bad a day I have, I feel much better and forget all my worries when I am with my significant other. And she feels the same with me. In all honesty, she is the only person I want to be around. What's more is that I like to get into her hobbies and she likes to get into mine. Like if she wants to do chick stuff, I will try to get into, but not out of respect for her or for the sake of us bonding, but because I desire to get interested into what interests her. She does the same with me. Before me she knew jack squat about football. But now she enjoys watching it with me. Again, I want to emphasize the fact that we don't just get into each other's hobbies because we are trying to preserve the inegrity of the relationship or anything like that; we do it because we DESIRE to love what the other loves.

Don't try to avoid relationships. Yea, you do risk heartbreak, but the gain of finding the right person makes the risk worth it. And not to sound like a party pooper, but if you find the right guy when the child gets older, then he/she will resent any guy you try to bring into your life.

And one thing I always say is that time is a finite resource. It can never be replenished. Make use of it now.

I understand that he may hate any guy I may bring in my life but really I am exhausted. And I also don't want to settle once am older

[kate61]

I don't know, off course it is worth being in a relationship

I was 44 when I had to start all over again, that was really difficult, I'm engaged and have been for nearly 4 years.

I think the key for me if this helps you, was I saw through the liers, the guys that just wanted a booty call and walked away quite deflated to be honest. At 28, and 44, there are limited amount of single guys that are seriously looking, most have had a hard time themselves and therefore don't care and aren't ready.

What you have to do is ascertain if they are ready or not, or if they still have baggage, date, date and don't sleep with them, you'll soon work it out and say "sorry, you're not for me" or , OMG finally...

Also some women date out of loneliness, then settle then get burnt. You would be telling your daughter never, ever do this, the rule applies to you to.

Use dating as a means to go out, get dressed up and have a conversation, remind yourself what dating is all about but don't expect each guy you meet is the one or they are telling you the truth from get go.

Date and date until you get to know them, then decide on a relationship or not, the guy that wants you will wait, the others will nick off

I do like the idea of just dating. I know there is no harm in trying to live life a bit.

[kate61]

But am just not up to any of it. I feel like screaming

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Yes you are, be assertive this is your life

[kate61]

I have lost faith and am sure I wouldn't know a good thing even if it hit me on the face

[Claret]

I am a single mother of 1,am 28 and by now I thought I should be settled in a loving relationship. And all the relationships I have been involved in I have been lied to and cheated on. At this moment I don't see myself working on a relationship. I know I won't be single forever but I feel I would just date and forget about commitment. I know I am a caring and loving person but they just throw ******** on my face. I am not one for affairs but am tired of feeling used. I feel I would just date and date. Not that I will jump from one guy to another. Any ladies out there with the same feelings?

So, if all the relationships devolve into being lied to and cheated on, then I think as a constructive first step you should look at why you are selecting these same types of men. When you can figure out the why of how you entered into a relationship with them then you will be on the path of figuring out how to break this cycle.

In my opinion, "all these guys" had one thing in common and that was YOU.

With this in mind, then you should change your attitudes/behaviours, work on you to become assertive and able to stand on your own two feet. Perhaps you are subconsciously looking for a father for the child and they pick up on that.

Date with the idea of having fun and not with the idea of being in a relationship and don't introduce your child and your date right from the starting gate. You get to know the guy first prior to having your child involved.

[kate61]

So, if all the relationships devolve into being lied to and cheated on, then I think as a constructive first step you should look at why you are selecting these same types of men. When you can figure out the why of how you entered into a relationship with them then you will be on the path of figuring out how to break this cycle.

In my opinion, "all these guys" had one thing in common and that was YOU.

With this in mind, then you should change your attitudes/behaviours, work on you to become assertive and able to stand on your own two feet. Perhaps you are subconsciously looking for a father for the child and they pick up on that.

Date with the idea of having fun and not with the idea of being in a relationship and don't introduce your child and your date right from the starting gate. You get to know the guy first prior to having your child involved.

All good points taken. Am not looking for a "father" just that I would have expected to be settled by now. No one said life would go as I planned