[BreakRules&Smile]

I've looked back on my past relationships seeing if there a common factor in any of them, on why they didn't work out. I recently started talking to a new guy, and weve hungout a few times. I like him and I think hes into me too, but i find mysef thinking "why isisn't he asking me to hangout, or replying to my text from the other day?" This made me think, im not at a point in my life where im 100% happy with myself. Maybe if Im more comfortable with my feelings, my insecurities, and happy with my life, then my future relationships will be better. Any ideas on this?
-sorry if that didn't make much sense, my question is really, do you need to love yourself in order to open up to someone else

[Something_Awesome]

Wow. I love thought provoking questions like these. I will be thinking about this today.

As for the answer to your question, well, I am sure Jen will answer it in 5... 4... 3... 2...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I see loving yourself as this.

You know who you are, love who you are, are comfortable with everything about yourself, respect yourself and just feel happy and free about life and what it has to offer, knowing though where you are going.

In that, you tend to therefore show that to the outside world. There is confidence, a glow about a person who is happy within themselves.

But the good thing too is that you know what you want, what you don't want, what you will accept and what you won't accept.

This guy can't be for you or he'd see who you are already and talk to you. But the in-secure part of you wants him to because she is saying what is wrong with me.

The confident you would have seen the first part and smiled.

[rcoreyus]

I'm not Jen, but: I don't think anyone is 100% happy with themselves. I think more it is a case of accepting yourself for what you are means that you aren't constantly looking for reassurance from your partner.

[jen1447]

I think you need to love yourself in general (have basic self-esteem and self-worth as a human being), and like yourself in particular (be comfortable with who you are, the way you think, your values, etc.). The rest will follow, including how you expect to be treated by other people.

Otherwise CW has some great clues, as usual.

[Champagne_Supernova]

Well, it really depends on what you mean. if you mean "loving yourself" as in being content with your looks, etc? no, I don't think so. But in terms of "loving yourself" enough to know what you want and deserve out of a relationship, yes! definitely! I think you need to love yourself in the way of knowing your worth, and not selling yourself short, you also, being able to recognize what you want in a relationship, and being willing to part with things that aren't working for you, regardless of being scared of standing alone. If you love yourself enough to know what you deserve, you'll be strong enough to stand on your own until you find it, or, take risks until you find where you want to be. Once you find someone who truly really loves you, loving yourself comes naturally. Just my thoughts, though!

[Lovcookie]

For a long term relationship yes because we all get exposed to reveal the full gamut of our personalities eventually. To like (even love) ourselves makes a huge difference in our ability to create opportunities for new relationships, friends etc and too sustain them. It is the foundation of what make us attractive to others. I have done a much better job of learning to forgive and laugh at my self rather then holding on to stuff that pulled me down. It have found it is the things I did not do or try that I regretted more then the things I tried and failed. It most certainly applies to relationships too.

[waynebarnett847]

Definitely yes! You must to love yourself first.

Love is not an on-off switch — it’s a lot more complicated. We all have different levels of acceptance and love for ourselves (and others) at different times. And, depending upon how comfortable you are with yourself in general, you are more or less likely to be able to give love to and take in love from someone else.

When you basically love and accept yourself, you don’t need the approval or acceptance of someone else, though it always feels good to have. You feel comfortable being by yourself, even as you continue to wish for a healthy relationship.