[BreakRules&Smile]

My boyfriend recently brokeup with me, and it was a shock to me. He needed to figure out things with his life(he stil does), and he doesnt know where his life will take him, and didnt want me to get hurt. It was a sad breakup but no negative feelings or hatred, i understand he needs to focus on himself and what path he needs to take in life. Weve been talking as of late, and flirting a bit. He mentioned how he misses me, and would love to go for a coffee or something as friends, I said sure as id love to catchup. He then told me, hed be totally fine with us hooking up, we both want it, and are comfortable with eachother so why not? but at the same time I wonder how healthy that is.he said hed be fine with us being friends and maybe having the odd 'fun', and when the day came that i possible meet a new guy he said hed be fine with me saying 'ive met someone else, this has gotta come to an end.' Id really love to hear from anyone whos had anything like this with their past relationships?

[jns]

You will spend more energy looking for the new guy if this relationship isn't hanging around. This relationship is going nowhere. Don't try to rekindle it.

[atskitty2]

I think if you want to move on, this isn't the way to do it. It will likely keep you emotionally, physically and mentally attached to someone who evidently doesn't see a future with you.
It's very difficult to gain interests in a new man when you're still involved with another one. In your mind, you may quietly be hoping you'll reconcile and work it all out...and that doesn't seem to be his intention.

[effy2014]

I agree with jns and atskitty. Look at it from another perspective. If he couldn't work on his issues while having a real relationship with you, how can he work on his issues if he is having sex with you? If the answer is because he can have sex with you without having deeper feelings of love and attachment, dump him as fast as you can.

[jen1447]

I agree. In principle it could be okay, but it sounds like you're still invested in him, and frankly it sounds like this may have been all he wanted anyway. "I need time to figure myself out, so I don't have time to devote to maintaining a relationship with you, but I do have plenty of time to fool around." Huh?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

My boyfriend recently broke up with me

He then told me, hed be totally fine with us hooking up,

the odd 'fun',

hed be fine with me saying 'ive met someone else, this has gotta come to an end.

It's funny when guys do this. Hey, I can't go out with you anymore this is my life, I need to be alone, sorry about that.

Hey, by the way, I've had sex with you, we are comfortable, instead of not getting any how about we be FWB's until you find someone.

Hey, it doesn't bother me when you do, it's gotta come to an end".

Who is he looking after?

Who is he ensuring he is still sleeping with therefore, she may not actually start looking for someone else because he's still kinda there, so he gets his cake and eats it?

[SuzanneJ]

It sounds to me like he's trying to use you for sex. Don't let him. Especially if you still have feelings for him.
My very first boyfriend did that to me. He said he wasn't "ready" to commit to a relationship but since he knew I was head-over-heels in love with him (and "in love" for the first time at 16) that I would do anything for him. He'd call me up being all sweet and we'd hang out for a bit, then we'd end up having sex and once he got what he wanted he went right back to being a colossal jerk. I felt used and hated myself every time we slept together. It was awful! I finally gathered the courage to call him up one day tell him I never wanted to see him again. As strange as it may sound, it was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but I'm so so so glad I did!
Many years later I'm happy with a wonderful man and my ex is fat, bald, and alone (did I mention was as vain as a Hollywood starlet? lol!). Good living is always the best revenge.

[BreakRules&Smile]

thank you ladies!