[xraychick01]

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 1/2 years. He is a golfer and loves to golf any chance he gets. He recently became a member at the local country club this year. I love that enjoys golf so much but I'm beginning to feel like I'm a second priority. He works 5 days a week and usually tries to play a few holes after work a few days a week. He plays a lot of tournaments on the weekends and when not playing a tournament usually golfs Sat and/or Sun. I feel like we are living two separate lives and not much of a life as a couple. I've expressed to him how I'm feeling but I feel like he either doesn't care or isn't listening to what I'm saying. I'm not asking him to choose between golf or me, I'm just asking for some quality time together. Thoughts? Suggestions?

[Something_Awesome]

I do not think you are alone in this. I've heard of golf ruining relationships. I personally despise the game and would rather get pegged by Rosie O'Donnell than endure just five minutes of golf.

Sorry I don't have any advice other than the ultimatum approach does not usually work. He shouldn't be forced to choose you over golf, he should desire to choose you over golf.

[Claret]

I went through this with another sport. I spent the better part of 5 years standing on a tarmack watching skydivers drop down. Each and every nice weekend was spent at the drop zone. The rainy poopy days were the days I got to do something that I liked. So what did I do. I took up skydiving. My husband was a jump master and coach and I became the Chief Provincial Skydiving Judge for formation Skydiving. For the next 5 years I spent as an active participant in the sport.

What can you do? You could take up the sport as well, or become the supportive person sitting back home. You could find something to do that you love or stay at home and wait.

[xraychick01]

I'm tired of staying at home and waiting. I've started doing my own thing when he's out. I've never played golf myself but have become interested in it. I've began hitting some balls around and I enjoy it. I even enjoy watching it on television. But I also feel like he should desire to spend time with me as the other poster said. I don't want this to ruin our relationship, and I don't expect him to give up what he loves to do, but there's got to be some balance. What about the person he supposedly loves?

[effy2014]

Permit me to be the pessimist. Golf can be all consuming. I know, I didn't quit until I had twins. There are three choices: (i) get involved in the game and golf with him at least part of the time; (ii) enjoy the country club life with the other ladies; or (iii) he needs to limit the amount of golf he plays on the weekends.

My compromise when I was first married was to limit myself to one round on the weekend and have the first tee time in the morning on Saturday. I could be back home by 11:00 am. We had the rest of the weekend. When we had twins, I quit golf. I couldn't justify the time away from the kids.

He has to make choices and not leave you a golf widow.

[Something_Awesome]

I've began hitting some balls around and I enjoy it.

Heh, Jen and my GF enjoy it as well... I'm sorry but I really could not resist

[xraychick01]

Heh, Jen and my GF enjoy it as well... I'm sorry but I really could not resist

I knew how that sounded as soon as I typed it lol

[jen1447]

I know golf and other hobbies/behaviors can be addictive, but if he's prioritizing it, he is indeed telling you that it's primary and you're secondary. Sometimes it helps to strip these situations down to the bare essentials and look at what's left. Do you want to be #2 to a sport?