Yes Virginia, there is porn watching sans masturbation! Effy is right, we are indeed not so out of control.
I have said it before on WH, I am not a big consumer of porn, but now and again I'll look. I usually look for the amateur stuff. Ordinary people acting in an ordinary fashion. I try to find porn where the women are of s.e. Asian origin and the more they look like my wife, the better. I sometimes get aroused, but for her. We have been married for more than 10 years and, while I cannot say with 100% certainty (I might have forgotten some isolated event), I am quite certain I have never masturbated to porn in all those years. Or masturbated at all, for that matter. I know that would offend her. She would ask, quite fairly, why did I not come to her? She does not turn down an opportunity for sex, so I think she would see me masturbating to porn as preferring to get off on porn instead of her. She'd be right. To me, masturbation is something one might do in the absence of a better sexual outlet. If one has a partner who makes one horny as can be, and who is available, what utility is there in masturbation?
For me, I have limited time to spend online when not working or doing everyday chores, like attending to banking, etc. When I do decide to go looking for porn, I have to wade through an awful lot of crap to find anything I find remotely interesting, so that deters me. Of late, I have spent a fair amount of time here on WH. That leaves no time for porn. I do not have time for both. It's probably been several months since I have partaken of porn. As well, even when I find porn I consider worth watching, it's good for about 20 minutes, then I get bored. Short attention span, I suppose. Maybe ADHD.
I'll add something that I do not recall anyone else hereabouts relating by way of similar experience. A long time ago, in what was my first "serious" relationship of any sort, I was with a woman to whom I was initially sexually attracted. I was very young and that part of me was still evolving. What I found attractive at age 28 was not the same as at age 18. In time, I realized that she did not turn me on sexually anymore. Not her fault. She did not change in any way. I had changed. Then, if I saw porn, I found myself wishing my girl looked like some of the girls I saw in porn.
Often I wonder if that is the problem underlying the endless threads we see here bearing topic headings along the lines of "My bf is not interested in sex anymore". In my case, I was still very interested in sex, just not with my gf. I do not believe any amount of counseling, deep thinking, negotiating, urging, etc. was ever going to change that.
For many years, my idea of what is sexually attractive has remained rather constant. Now, with my wife, I have exactly what I find attractive. I would be hard pressed to find better, even if you set before me a veritable smorgasbord of women from which to choose. That's one reason I pay scant attention to porn. There's nothing there as sexy and appealing to me as what I have right beside me. So why waste much time on porn, never mind masturbate over it? Seems nonsensical to me.
I have said it before on WH, I am not a big consumer of porn, but now and again I'll look. I usually look for the amateur stuff. Ordinary people acting in an ordinary fashion. I try to find porn where the women are of s.e. Asian origin and the more they look like my wife, the better. I sometimes get aroused, but for her. We have been married for more than 10 years and, while I cannot say with 100% certainty (I might have forgotten some isolated event), I am quite certain I have never masturbated to porn in all those years. Or masturbated at all, for that matter. I know that would offend her. She would ask, quite fairly, why did I not come to her? She does not turn down an opportunity for sex, so I think she would see me masturbating to porn as preferring to get off on porn instead of her. She'd be right. To me, masturbation is something one might do in the absence of a better sexual outlet. If one has a partner who makes one horny as can be, and who is available, what utility is there in masturbation?
For me, I have limited time to spend online when not working or doing everyday chores, like attending to banking, etc. When I do decide to go looking for porn, I have to wade through an awful lot of crap to find anything I find remotely interesting, so that deters me. Of late, I have spent a fair amount of time here on WH. That leaves no time for porn. I do not have time for both. It's probably been several months since I have partaken of porn. As well, even when I find porn I consider worth watching, it's good for about 20 minutes, then I get bored. Short attention span, I suppose. Maybe ADHD.
I'll add something that I do not recall anyone else hereabouts relating by way of similar experience. A long time ago, in what was my first "serious" relationship of any sort, I was with a woman to whom I was initially sexually attracted. I was very young and that part of me was still evolving. What I found attractive at age 28 was not the same as at age 18. In time, I realized that she did not turn me on sexually anymore. Not her fault. She did not change in any way. I had changed. Then, if I saw porn, I found myself wishing my girl looked like some of the girls I saw in porn.
Often I wonder if that is the problem underlying the endless threads we see here bearing topic headings along the lines of "My bf is not interested in sex anymore". In my case, I was still very interested in sex, just not with my gf. I do not believe any amount of counseling, deep thinking, negotiating, urging, etc. was ever going to change that.
For many years, my idea of what is sexually attractive has remained rather constant. Now, with my wife, I have exactly what I find attractive. I would be hard pressed to find better, even if you set before me a veritable smorgasbord of women from which to choose. That's one reason I pay scant attention to porn. There's nothing there as sexy and appealing to me as what I have right beside me. So why waste much time on porn, never mind masturbate over it? Seems nonsensical to me.
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