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Big Fight w/ Husband

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  • Big Fight w/ Husband

    I just had a really big fight with my husband. We typically don't fight at all... and I meant at all. We were leaving dinner with friends and had gotten into a discussion about our dog being home alone for too long (about 3 hrs without us). We were a half hour late than planned but the dog has stayed alone well beyond that time frame while we've been at work. I have the summer off now so she was with me all day.

    Anyway, he got really loud with me, moreso than I ever remember him getting in the lengthy time we've been together (over 4 years). Eventually I started yelling back and he began calling me crazy for yelling. I know this sounds one sided but he was the one who took the argument to a new level. I just eventually couldn't contain myself and started yelling back.

    I'm on the couch now. He's up in the bedroom. I'm just kind of a wreck and can't sleep. I just tried for the last 45 minutes and decided to turn on the computer instead because I can't keep my thoughts from wandering. This is probably the worst argument we've ever had, and I'm not sure what to do.

    Venting... more than anything.

  • Aw, I'm sorry Dear. Was this in front of the friends?
    Why not go up & talk to him now? It's been a few hours, you've both had a chance to cool down. He's probably upstairs feeling uneasy & restless too. Go talk to him about the whole thing. Better for you (and baby? - aren't you pregnant or am I confused?) to have a nice chat to work it out now, than let it fester a day or so. You'll rest better.


    • Yeah, I am pregnant. He offered me the bed and said he would take the couch, but both of us are stubborn in our own right, I guess and I refused. I went up and he got all restless, kept moving around and then used the bathroom. He said don't go in and out b/c I was waking the dog up. I'm just really hurt right now because this isn't like him... and I said I wanted to talk and he kept saying in the morning we can. He has a dentist apt in the morning and then an oil change so I won't be seeing him until after noon really. I'm just upset. I feel like such a girl.


      • How are things today Cape?


        • Things are better. Sorry for venting. It was late and I didn't feel like waking up any of my friends, so I figured I would come on here. We kind of talked, but then he went to the dentist. He tried to kiss me when he left and I kind of half heartedly returned the gesture. He said, fine but you know how you'd feel if I didn't kiss you back and then he left. It's been a couple hours since he left. We'll see what happens.


          • No need to be sorry for venting, you needed that.
            I hope you'll do more talking when he's back home. Keep me posted.


            • Hang in there. Arguments do happen and they are horrid things. I hope this all resolves OK for you both. Sounds like he is making an effort and it sounds like you have a bit to talk out.


              • Update cape?


                • I hope things are a little bit better for yo both


                  • Hey all... things are much better. Sorry again that I went all dramatic (I swear I'm really not dramatic). We don't fight often, but this one was bad timing (right before bed) and just both of us got really loud, which I can only count 2 or 3 times ever that we've actually yelled at each other the way we did the other night. My husband is a great guy. He came home from his appointment and whole-heartedly apologized, and I did the same. He's a real gentleman and was completely out of his own element I think. He kept apologizing throughout the day, especially because I'm pregnant. He felt bad, I felt really bad too. Things are good now... totally back to normal. Thanks again for hearing me out and giving your input on here.


                    • So glad to hear it.


                      • Hey Cape I am sorry you and husband went through all this. I am so glad things are calmer now and that you both speaking with each other now. But being married sometimes you have these issue it's hard for you begin pregnant. I am very happy to read you both apologized to each other that's even better now.I know this issue was not easy for you to discuss with everyone here but it can be good therapy to discuss issue like this with others. Like I said before we are going through here on WH with your pregnancy as well. The months pass by you get closer to that day of that special gift for you and your husband comes to you.
                        When out driving always turn left. Then, should you become lost, you can find your way home by reversing the procedure and always turning right.


                        • Really pleased to hear this. I hate it whenever I open up with this kind of thing to my friends and they are all really down on my partner. I get really ********ed off about it. Then you have to defend someone you are feeling bad about but love. That support I never needed. He sounds like a nice guy (that is why you two are together, huh) but arguments are soul sucking experiences. Glad you got through this one.


                          • I think an argument here and there is healthy for a relationship. It helps you grow and show that you're both individuals with different opinions. Maybe it just escalated a little quickly, but that happens. As long as you both were able to talk about it and grow/learn from it, that's all that matters! I am pregnant too and I totally understand getting more upset about things than I normally would and being more sensitive. It just happens so don't beat yourself up over it.


                            • Thanks all for the concerns and the input. Again, you've all exceeded my expectations I really appreciate the kind words and input. I did vent to my friends too and Christina, you were kind of right in the sense that they immediately took my side. They didn't bash him, but of course they get all "best-friendy" and they only hear my side of the story of course. I try to be fair and honest, but of course I was a little sensitive to something he said and took it the wrong way and then one things leads to another and it snowballed.

                              What pushed me over the edge, and now I kind of laugh about it, was when he said it's your stupid pregnant hormones making you all sensitive. I was already seeing red at this point and I slammed the door in his face. Me and Ron have laughed about it since, and I think it's definitely in the past now.

                              But yeah, that night was pretty frustrating to say the least... for both of us.



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