[katzintheclouds]

Hello ladies.

First off, big thanks to everyone who's been helping me through the past few weeks with my recent emotional battles. (Original post here) I have been working things out little by little through writing, talking, etc. A few conversations have taken place between her & I that have gradually brought on good conversing of our issues. She suggested that we try to meet up (we live several states away) by each traveling and meeting each other half way. It's very symbolic actually.

But do I do it? She's suggesting that we need to have a good talk face to face, which I think is true. She's implying that she wants us to meet up & stay somewhere (Probably North Carolina) to try and make things right. In one hand, I think it's a great idea, I need to talk to her and I need to do it face to face. Things aren't being properly dealt with over messaging and neither of us can get the strength to call. I haven't heard her voice in a long time which is such a strange concept considering I talked to her almost everyday for more than ten years. But she's implying that maybe we'll get a hotel room & spend a weekend or so together to get it all out.

I don't really know how I feel about it. Any suggestions?

[atskitty2]

I think if you go, you'll find yourself in a very vulnerable position. It will likely develop into a sexual encounter and possibly a compounding of your confusion.

I do think if you want the relationship to be that way again, then go. But if I remember correctly, you were struggling with her marital relationship and your place within her life. I don't think that rejoining sexually will help, until you get the specifics sorted out. Maybe that happens on this trip. I see lust taking over however.

I think, if you both can't pick up the phone and hash it out, that physical contact is just going to reignite the sparks. Would that be a set back for you or not?

Quite honestly, I have a hunch that's what your friend wants-a physical encounter to quell all the talk of feelings and talks of "where we stand" etc.

I haven't reread your posts tho. I should refresh my memory perhaps, before speaking.
Have you spoken to your counselor about it?

[ChristinaHedge]

It sounds like it is not going to really help. I think that you need to talk through things with your counselor. If you do go through with it, get separate rooms. You do not need to throw that into the mix as well

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I think that in order for one book to be closed and another open, you need to close the first one.

Meeting up with her, is going to bring back all sorts of inner feelings including sexually, that's a given, she even knows that. I don't know why she feels that if you both spent a couple of days together, it will make everything "all right". From also past memory, she took advantage of a simular situation with you whilst married and you felt used. I can see the same thing occurring and you going further down hill.

You'd have to look at it as "one more time" but also it's cheating, she's cheating. Imagine if she wasn't married and she was with you and this conversation you've stated, was to another woman whilst you were home alone, knowing nothing about it. I don't know of anyone that would welcome a cheater as their partner in real life so what you can say you just got out of this is the knowledge that she is a cheater, not something you would have wanted had she had stayed with you in a committed relationship.

That would be enough for me to concentrate on and close the book. And, heal, then look for a new book to read from beginning to end.