[inlove2014]

So I would love some feedback from others on my relationship with my boyfriend. We are both divorced and have kids. We recently moved in together. Things are great. He is so affectionate and loving. I am worried though that moving in will stall him asking me to marry him. He lived with his ex wife for 5 years before they got married and honestly I don't want to wait that long. Thoughts? We have talked about marriage but no timelines. What would you do in this situation? I know he loves me with all his heart. We are a perfect match...but marriage is important to me sooner rather than later.

[Claret]

Why did you not wait until you were married prior to moving in? How long have you each been separated from your respective spouses? How long have you two been together? How long were you each married to others?

There are too many variables for us to give you any kind of responsible reply IMO.

Finally though, why the rush to the altar?

[inlove2014]

We have both been divorced about two years. We have been together a year. I was married 16 years, he was married 3. Why the rush to the alter? Not really rushing...but wondered how someone else might handle if he doesn't move in that direction eventually. I don't think I would wait 5 years like his ex did.

[Claret]

I don't think there should be a time line limit on this. What will you do if he doesn't ask you to marry him? Are you willing to put up limits and what are the consequences if he doesn't respond in what you feel is a reasonable time?

[effy2014]

I can understand why you want be married. You have children as does he. The last thing you want is to have relationships build with and between the children without permanence. I also get the feeling that planning is very important to you personality-wise. If those are your feelings, I would have suggested that you not move in together before you had a marriage timetable. I also understand from his perspective, not rushing into another marriage.

Communicate with him. Let him know why marriage is important to you as is a timetable. Both of you have kids to think about. Not to pressure him . . . he already loves you with all of his heart . . . but to plan. Men have a habit of keeping the status quo and if it ain't broke, he may just prefer to live together. Do you have a fear of him procrastinating?

By the way, he may have waited so long with his ex because he knew it might be disastrous. He might have gone through with it because . . . he's a nice guy.

[Claret]

Again I have to ask, what is your outside limit for him asking you to marry him? If you have a timeline in mind, you should also have in mind what you will do if he doesn't ask you. Why couldn't you ask him?

[DreamP346]

Why does he have to ask you? Why can't you ask him?

If marriage is more important to you than him, I think you should take the lead on it.

Just my opinion.

[effy2014]

Why does he have to ask you? Why can't you ask him?

If marriage is more important to you than him, I think you should take the lead on it.

Just my opinion.

Always thinking outside the stereotypic box, DreamP.