[b1b2l]

So here it is i moved to a new state 5 months ago for work and have not many new friends so when my co workers invited me to go to a strip club (fyi i hate those places i consider myself fairly handsome and never had a problem dating) i jumped on it. Once there one of the dancers i noticed and fairly recognized her from where i am originally from. Long story short it turned out to be a girl whom was in college with me but did know personally and she just moved here as well. Against my better judgement we exchanged numbers and decided to go out. During our dates i told her i am not the type of guy that can handle his gf doing The job she does. She expressed she hates but is having trouble finding a job in her career field and this is her first time doing it. Upon hearing this i tried to help her using every connection i had and found something for her. She said she fell so hard for me and loves me blah blah. So a month goes by the interview is coming we also agreed she can move in w me (again i know only a month it just happened). The night before her moving in she said she loves me again and cant wait for tomorrow. Tomorrow comes and she accused me of being a control freak and she can do whatever she wants work where she wants. I stated to her i was only doing these things to help. Now i havent heard from her in two days. And we are not young im 37 and she is 33. My question is is she full of **** or bi polar and did i do wrong by trying to help her

[effy2014]

b1b2l

You will get responses to your issue if you post this as a new thread. I will try to ask one of the Admins to help you on this.

As for your first question, it is impossible for any of us to evaluate the reasons behind her actions based upon your post. You don't have enough information about her nor could we. It could be that she is running from the stress; you could be representing everyone in her life that has pressured her to change jobs and her anger is focused on you; there could have been reasons over the last month that made her believe that you were overly controlling. Lots possible theories.

You, however, can answer questions to help us discuss your conduct. If it was against your better judgment, why did you exchange numbers?

What were your feelings for her that led you to invite her to live with you? You seem to be downplaying feelings that you may have had for her. Were you completely in rescue mode?

A more complete version of your feelings and the circumstances of how your relationship developed might help us give you more accurate comments.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

We've moved your previous post to a new thread, thank you Effy.

OP. I see two things, either someone has told her that you are a Control Freak, as you moved her out of stripping and into your place, within 30 days and provided an interview for a new job. In my opinion it was suggested to her that one month is too soon to know anyone in a relationship point of view and move in together and that you have to be a control freak, watching her every move to ensure she doesn't strip behind your back.

That's what I think happened as the only logical thing that could make sense from her previous comments to her 'now' comments.

And, honestly, I probably would think the same if someone suggested that may be the case. A couple of dates, you worked hard to get her an interview for a job within 30 days and went to move her into your place.

Approach her again and tell her you can see why she is thinking that way, taking yourself outside of the box looking in and that you didn't have any intent of monitoring her movements if that is what she thought and whilst you don't like stripping as a living, you are not there to judge nor to change her mind, rather you saw / see it as a dangerous job and have some feelings for her, so you were trying to protect her. I'm basing that on her own comments that she personally didn't want to do it, only couldn't find a job.

See whether she calms down on her thoughts or not.

It's also possible to be honest that she enjoys what she is doing and has told you otherwise because she gathers you are totally against it and wouldn't otherwise go out with her. So on that coin, you have to think whether or not you would continue to go out with her if she decided she wanted to stay, stripping. Because again, she may be thinking she's only worth something to you, if she has a job that you agree with. So she's come to that conclusion on her own.

You need to evaluate your own honest feelings about her, forget her job, her. Because if you want to be with a person you accept all that they are and their choices in life.

Stripping can be dangerous for a lady but other than that, it can be an art and dancing is good for the soul.

If you trust someone and they have chosen an art for work, then you have to trust them.

If you totally can't handle what she does or worry about what your friends/family will say, then you are probably best to leave things where they are as naturally the relationship will not work in the long run.

I'm sure others will have their thoughts as these are just my opinions and thoughts for you to read and consider as possibles and outcomes.