[alibaby]

We all make choices...many times, the wrong ones. The same way that some women choose to put themselves on display in strip clubs for the money, your boyfriend chooses to waste his money on those women at clubs. You said he has a history of this behaviour, which means that he knows that it hurts you, but he continues. It's time for you to think about what it will take for you to be rid of the unhappiness that he is obviously causing you.

[Rasberrt]

I don't doubt the fact that it is a well paying job but what are these women going to put on their resumes when they are around 40 and looking for a job that doesn't mind if thier boobs are sagging and they are beginning to get wrinkles? I think it is wonderful that women can support themselves based on the way they look, but unfortunately what you stated above about dancers putting themselves through college and supporting families isn't usually the norm. Most of the time it is to support drug habbits that are formed in the clubs they dance in. Just my opinion.

That's real talk. It's also b/c they are addicted to the money and likely have boyfriends that beat their butts if they don't bring the money home. I can't imagine the level of self deprication that must be at work in the mind and heart of a woman who takes her clothes off and parades around a club like an alley cat beckoning the attention of men just to get a dollar. Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Oh and Bubbles, I agree that you should find out how much more you are willing to take from this man. He is not your husband and you put up with him cheating on you while you are pregnant and lying to you? Sometimes women expect so little and that's exactly what we get, little. When you are tired of playing victim and tired of depending on an emotionally immature man for your happiness you will move on. I hope it's sooner than later...

[bubbles]

Rasbbert
I feel like that was a bit rude, I am not playing "poor me" here i was asking for advice or a reply to talk to other women about how that felt.

And thanks everyone else for listening and giving there words of encouragement.

[Rasberrt]

Rasbbert
I feel like that was a bit rude, I am not playing "poor me" here i was asking for advice or a reply to talk to other women about how that felt.

And thanks everyone else for listening and giving there words of encouragement.

"I hate that he lied and years ago when he went to the strippers he ended up fooling around with one of them, he told me he cheated and that she liked him ( i told him she probably liked 40 other guys there too that night that gave her money.... he gave her 100's of ours).... so it drudged up all those bad feelings again, and i dont know what to do... Please give me some advice please..." Bubbles

You asked for advice so my advice is...stop playing victim and move on.

If you allow yourself to stay in a situation that is harmful to you emotionally, physically and/or spiritually and you have the power to change it but stay and hope the other person will change, you are playing victim. This man has cheated on you in the past and has lied to your currently and you haven't made a decision on whether or not he is worth your time. What advice do you need? Do you need someone to tell you to leave this man alone? Many of here have told you that. My next focus was to get you to see WHY you are in this situation and it's not because you are in love and have a child together it is because you expect too little of the man in your life and you accept too much. Empower yourself and decide what your limit is and move on if he has gone over YOUR limit. If he hasn't and you stilll have more to give and more to take, stay with him. Those really are your only two options, you cannot and will not make him change.

[SorridLives]

It's hard if you have children together. But it seems that man has disrespected you and your relationship badly. I'd say you should seriously think about leaving...

[lauralight]

Hum

I'd assume he never stopped going to see strippers all of this time and not trust him, and probably seperate for sure.

[DystopianDream]

Everyone else is right and I am in full agreement with them. He doesn't respect you or your child and most importantly do you really want him as an example for your child growing up. Kids learn about their relationships from their parents.

[bklynprk24]

I don't doubt the fact that it is a well paying job but what are these women going to put on their resumes when they are around 40 and looking for a job that doesn't mind if thier boobs are sagging and they are beginning to get wrinkles? I think it is wonderful that women can support themselves based on the way they look, but unfortunately what you stated above about dancers putting themselves through college and supporting families isn't usually the norm. Most of the time it is to support drug habbits that are formed in the clubs they dance in. Just my opinion.

Sweetie27 have you ever worked in the dancing industry or known anyone who actually did?? I have in the past and so have many of my friends, not one of my favorite things to talk about, but i had a 6 month old to care for and wanted to do better for myself, i went to school during the day and danced at night, paid the bills and cared for my child. None of the girls that danced in the club that I danced in were supporting a drug habit or boyfriends that beat us. Have I put it on a resume that I danced, yes I did. Do I have a respectable job now? I am an administrative Assistant in a treatment center for boys, so I consider that a respectable job. (and i'm not a dancer there either, I'm an adult influence that they can come to with problems) I know that was your own opinion, but your opinion doesn't apply to everyone that has worked in the industry. Frankly I don't think it applies to a majority of dancers. JUST MY OPINION.

[anonymouswhitefemale]

It's also b/c they are addicted to the money and likely have boyfriends that beat their butts if they don't bring the money home.

That's entirely wrong in my opinion. I think it's also quite insulting for dancers and men that you think they all have an abusive guy behind it. Of the dancers/escorts I've spoken to, they do it because they want what they see as easy money fast - the have no regrets, no drug habit (beyond the normal) and no guy beating them up for not taking on extras on the side.

[kiwi99133]

i feel you pain. my ex did a simular this., he was in the marines and when he was at his training school he spent all the money we were saving on strippers nad and his friends used to pay a stripper every friday night to beat them ( i told him i would do it for free...he did not take me up on that offer) any way he also paid 80 for a hand job. i got past that and got over much as you did the first time. he and his buddies when he got home stared going to the strip clubs and i guess i just kinda told him to go cause i trusted him again and that is what you have to ask yourself do you trust him? if you trust him then okay if not ask him not to go anymore and tell him how you feel if he does not respect that then he is not worth your time.