[C]

Abstinence?
Sounds fishy that he doesn't let you have guy friends ... do you have a history of cheating on your boyfriends? I do, but that doesn't stop my boyfriend from trusting me, and I've never betrayed that trust.
If I can change, so can you ... you shouldn't have to give up (real) friends (those fake guys who just want in your pants don't count, of course.)

Little: We were talking about his drinking problem.....Maybe sounded confusing...

[Little]

Abstinence can refer to things other than sex ... one can abstain from just about everything. Even abstaining from abstaining

[C]

Abstinence can refer to things other than sex ... one can abstain from just about everything. Even abstaining from abstaining

Now you are really mixing me up more than I was to start....Mr. Webster told me liquor and food.....and now you bring this new word "sex" into it....I will have to check that one out..... TC. C

[Little]

Haven't you heard of the ridiculous "Abstinence-only" education being fed to us poor schoolchildren in America these days? Oh, vey with the political charging of words ...

[C]

Yes, I have heard of this...Some of the 16 year old girls get confused and go the other way.....so they must teach them to read first....Come to think of it....I think she has a sister.....

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Abstinence?
Sounds fishy that he doesn't let you have guy friends ... do you have a history of cheating on your boyfriends? I do, but that doesn't stop my boyfriend from trusting me, and I've never betrayed that trust.
If I can change, so can you ... you shouldn't have to give up (real) friends (those fake guys who just want in your pants don't count, of course.)

I read what you read there Little. "Maybe it's because i know why he drinks" and after that, that she had made mistakes before him, suggesting that he knew of those mistakes hense taking the male friends out of the equation.

But yes, if this is what she is saying, then he has to learn to trust her that she wants him as a partner and not allow those negative thoughts to enter his mind, as they are past. And, it appears i i read this correctly that wants him to feel that she is his and his alone, hense has accepted those terms.

Maybe time heals all wounds......

And maybe if she keeps showing her love he will realise it in it's totality and things will slowly change.

[TheMainGirl]

well thanks "Caroline" and "Little" for the explanation.........

my topic was actually about his drinking and I’m pretty sure it has nothing to do with me but since (little) asked me about cheating yes i did have a pretty bad past and it has to do with cheating but that was way before my boyfriend and ever since I’ve been with him I have not cheated on him and I don’t intend to cheat on him I really love him with all my heart and that is the reason why I would like advice as in what to do with his problem.

In reality i believe that it’s not me who got him into drinking. truly i dont really know why………. there might be a reason to why he drinks so much …but I don’t want to think that that would be the reason …. You see about 4 years ago when he was about 19 or 20 he was dating this girl for close to 2 years they lived together for 5 or 6 months and then one day this girl left him for another guy. It seams that the guy she is with right now is the guy that picked her up the day she left him. He tells me that he never did find out if she was cheating… aside of all that its been 4 years ever since that happened so I don’t really know if that would be a reason for his drinking….

Do to that situation my boyfriend is a very jealous guy and very over protective he rarely lets me go out and If I do he has to have a # to where he can call me I don’t have a cell phone because he doesn’t want me to have a cell phone and well many more things but I love him a lot and I don’t really care about my past because of him I’m a different person now and that is why I want to help him…

[Little]

He sounds controlling. The drinking is currently the least of your problems, but if you let him continue treating you the way he is, it will add to the BIGGEST of your problems.

[C]

Drinking is very hereditary....It could be something that he has had that stayed dorment but has now surfaced...He may have this from a skip in the generation's but depending upon how severe it is, it may be something he will have to battle...The mood swings of someone like this are pretty wild....Nothing to do with you whatsoever....Just part of life....TC, C

[TheMainGirl]

He sounds controlling. The drinking is currently the least of your problems, but if you let him continue treating you the way he is, it will add to the BIGGEST of your problems.

You’re totally right but you know to tell you the truth when I started dating him I used to party everyday I was very irresponsible with my job and well one of the major problems was my “lifestyle” and when I say that is due to “drug issues” long story so now that I’m with him I’m a very different girl I’m more attached to my mom and I see life different I don’t really see him as controlling I see it as caring and how he has helped me out so much but you know in reality you are RIGHT and I know that some day I’m not going to like it anymore and that’s if I don’t get used to it…and that would be a very bad thing…I suppose…