[lyssdemarchand]

Hey guys. I graduated high school a little while ago but ended up going to a community college. Most of my friends went away to college except for one of my good friends because she ended up having a baby a few months after we graduated. She did also get pregnant on purpose so it was hard for all of us to have a lot of sympathy because she purposely put herself in that situation. She's engaged to the father and I'm pretty sure everything's been going good with them. This is where everything gets rough. Evereyone in my friend group did start to drift apart which is completely normal. I got busy with college and I was in a pretty bad relationship where I was cheated on but didn't have the strength to leave because I felt like I was trapped. I recently got out of it and have met a new guy and finally feel like I have the old me back. My ex boyfriend never wanted me to hang out with my friends and didn't understand the concept of working and the guy I'm dating now is a complete gentleman. So it wasn't just my friend who I drifted from, it was almost all my friends. But anyways, last night this friend texted me and one of our other friends and basically said that it bothers her that we never ask her how she's doing or how the baby is and we only talk to her when we have our own problems and she feels hurt and thought we were better friends than that. I apologized to her because I feel terrible that she feels like no one cares and I sent her a really long text explaining that now that I'm out of that terrible relationship the old me is back but I believe my friend has already made up her mind and cut us off. I have tried reaching out to her numerous amount of times within the last day and have gotten barely any response. I told her I didn't want this friendship to end and I'm so sorry and I am willing to fix whatever needs to be fixed and she agreed that she didn't want the friendship to end but I needed to know how terrible she felt.

I honestly understand how she is feeling and I do feel bad but I think she's being a little dramatic. When you graduate high school, everyone sort of goes their separate ways but you know if you need them at the end of the day they'll always be there. Should I have reached out more? Absolutely. I am completely at fault for that and I told her I admit to that. I sent her another long text this morning about how I'd love to meet with her in person and talk about it but I got no response. She also posted an indirect facebook status about us and I am extremely embarrassed. All these people were commenting about how she had these terrible friends. I've just been so caught up in my own life that I should have checked in with her more. I've been also trying to help take care of my baby cousins because their mom (my cousin) recently attempted suicide and is now trying to piece her life back together so I've been helping out there.

I just don't know what to do. This friend of mine is very quick to cut people off even after the smallest thing and I'm afraid she's cut me off for good. I'm so upset because I always felt like I had a strong bond with her out of all the friends because we struggle with similar issues but like I said, it's just the fact that our lives both changed drastically. My other friends feels like after a few days she will cool down but I think she's done for good. I don't want to let this friendship go but how am I supposed to help save it if she won't even answer me? I feel like I'm going through a break up...

[Little]

Whether it's "fair" or not, it does sound like she has decided to end your friendship and move on, especially since you said she's cut other people off before. It's possible she has bad conflict resolution skills - she brought up her complaint and you apologized sincerely, which are great first and second steps, but she doesn't know how to move on from there. I feel like the ball is in her court - you are just wasting your time trying to contact her further.

You shouldn't feel guilty, though, especially because of any passive aggressive facebook statuses! That's an immature way of complaining that hopefully she will grow out of ... but don't count on it, because not everybody does :P If you feel like you need to give it one more shot before walking away, maybe let her know that you are there for her and would like to see her in person (I imagine with the holiday from school you will likely have extra time coming up) but that you will let her plan it. You can explain it as deferring to her schedule - you don't know when nap time or feeding times are - but really you are communicating it is her turn to make contact if she wants to move forward.

[cristyloe]

if people choose to self eliminate from your life, let them - they are making room for people you actually need in your life at this point. Cry over it, mourn the end of the friendship and move on because frankly you're at 2 different points in life - maybe down the road when you have a kid too, you 2 will reconnect but for now, let it be.

[Mattytham]

You're not young anymore, you have to get ready for your future, she's unfair it's not your fault for what happen to her. I agree with CW you need the new you.

[Motorguy]

Well I agree with CW and Little you done all you can by doing your apologies to your girl friend. Now it's in her court to accept it and move on with the friendship. But you need to get on with you life and let the girl friend to cool down and come back if she choices to do so. But this feud is something that go's on in high school. Now you both are adults not
children,so just don't let it worry you she will comes around and kindle the friendship again so good luck...