[Lovcookie]

I live in my GF house. Its been her house since her divorce some 15 years ago. I have my two condos of which I rent out. She no longer has a mortgage (neither do I). I try not to add to the clutter. I run my own business and at times hold some stock their. She has streaks of being a clutter bunny at times but then gets into all out clean up modes. I enjoy the place not fancy and large but nice. I pay half the bills etc. At times, I feel like we should have a place that we both own together. Its the home her and her ex did buy together. He lives in another city now. I have asked the gf about finding "our place". She seems to be bonded to the old place though. At the same time its her daughters childhood home (daughter over 20 now and not living full time their anymore). Its just not mine though. Originally, when I was renovating one of my condos she asked me to move in with her. I ve been there ever since. Maybe its just me but I really feel its time for "our place"
Maybe its a man thing. Women out there that have a boy friend living in "your house" How do you really feel about it?

[JessyJess]

What bothers you? That you don't own half the house or the fact that she used to share her life with another man in this house?

[Lovcookie]

Not that I don't own half lol. No its her house her money and thats fine. Not that she once shared it with another man either. More about I want to put in at least half the investment into "our home". I am made to feel like it is like my home but it is not. Don't want the perception of being someone living off the GF (of which I am not) but its the perception some may have. I have felt that perception from one person (a woman) not too long also (not her daughter).

[jns]

Your GF may want to keep it as her last place of refuge in case the relationship sours. A safe haven if you wish.

[calibri~]

Hello lovcookie,

My partner and I live in a property that belongs soley to me. I know that he wants us to buy somewhere together so that he doesn't feel like a lodger or something, but I'm kind of attached to my place and like to know that if the relationship faltered, at least I would have a home still. ( I know how awful that sounds.) I expect in your case it is more that your gf is comfortable in her place and maybe she doesn't think about the financial implications of sharing a property as an investment for the both of you?

[Motorguy]

I am going with JNS statement just in case the relationship go's wrong.Then and she retains her home free and clear and a place she can always call her home.

[Lovcookie]

Hello lovcookie,

My partner and I live in a property that belongs soley to me. I know that he wants us to buy somewhere together so that he doesn't feel like a lodger or something, but I'm kind of attached to my place and like to know that if the relationship faltered, at least I would have a home still. ( I know how awful that sounds.) I expect in your case it is more that your gf is comfortable in her place and maybe she doesn't think about the financial implications of sharing a property as an investment for the both of you?

JNS and Calibri I think you have hit it on the nose. Maybe she is not sold that we will be together for keeps. Heck we are common law by now anyways. We both did not sign anything. but I would not attempt to metal in her assets at all not do I think she would in mine. Whats hers is hers. She could rent out the house and keep it.
Keeping something for her daughter too. A place she feels her daughter is comfortable to come home too. A way of holding that bond with her daughter since she is mostly with her father after many years with her mother. She has told me "if its this house or that house whats the difference". Well I guess why rock the boat. If I marry her maybe she will be more adaptable to change we could do a pre-nup. With the rapid massive increases in home prices over the past 12 years it is a scarey subject.

[Pollon]

....Maybe she is not sold that we will be together for keeps. ....We both did not sign anything. .... If I marry her ....we could do a pre-nup. ...."

Maybe, if, could....None of this sounds like a full commitment. She would be foolish to "invest" when the future plans are so nebulus.

[Lovcookie]

Maybe, if, could....None of this sounds like a full commitment. She would be foolish to "invest" when the future plans are so nebulus.

We both said if we are still together after 5 years then we can have confidence that the marriage will be a lifer. We are half way there . Overall we been very good for each other. She got married on the young side the first time and the way that went she has changed her tune on the marriage thing just a bit. Not asking her to sell her place though. Between renting out my two and her one it ain't necessary. We can afford the forth and share the assest 50/50. Still I hear what being said and I have to agree. On a day like today I must be nuts. Outside fresh air with coffee, privacy in the back yard, pretty darn good.